


Let's try again, together this time.

by poooooork



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Fluff and Angst, Light Angst, M/M, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-08
Updated: 2019-10-27
Packaged: 2020-10-12 11:28:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 28,245
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20563556
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/poooooork/pseuds/poooooork
Summary: It was a new beginning. A new year. Perhaps, a newme.With that in mind, Oikawa set foot onto a new ground – Tokyo. It wasn’t that he didn’t like his hometown, but he just wanted to go somewhere…somewhere where no one knew him.





	1. The Encounter

It was a new beginning. A new year. Perhaps, a new _ me. _

With that in mind, Oikawa set foot onto a new ground – Tokyo. It wasn’t that he didn’t like his hometown, but he just wanted to go somewhere…somewhere where no one knew him. Sure, when he first realized that Iwaizumi wouldn’t be following him to Tokyo, he was disappointed and shed a few tears when Iwaizumi sent him off the day before, but right now, he felt as if, it was time he stopped depending on Iwaizumi for so many years. After graduating from Seijoh, he decided to take the entrance exam for University of Tokyo, also known as _ Todai. _ However, being in such a large city for the first time after spending 18 years in the countryside, Oikawa figured that he should take a gap year, just to roam about and experience the culture of Tokyo so that he wouldn’t stick out like a sore thumb when university starts.

“Alright. Let’s get myself to my new apartment,” he said to himself as he headed towards the nearest metro station he could find. Just as he thought it would be an easy case, his eyes widened as he stared at the map that indicated all the metro stations in Tokyo. _ ‘Seriously? All these stations and cities in just Tokyo alone? Where was I staying at again? Shinjuku? How do I go there? What line is that? Where am I now even?’ _ He stood there, semi-stunned before his eyes rapid back and forth from his phone to the map repeatedly. Once he was almost 80% sure where he should be heading, he headed for the respective side of the station. _ ‘It’s 8am now, so I should be reaching my apartment by–’ _his train of thoughts were rudely interrupted by a huge flow of human traffic, most of them dressed in formal attires. Without much consideration for Oikawa’s position, everyone rushed into the train that just arrived at the station. Even when the carriage seems like it was going to explode if more commuters were to enter, a few more people managed to squeeze in as if it was completely normal. In just 5 minutes, the majority of the crowd had made it onto the metro, except a stunned man, dressed in a turquoise hoodie jacket and white track pants. _ ‘…. what the hell was that?’ _ Even when he did get on a metro train after the 3rd wave of human traffic, the carriage was so packed he could feel his whole body being forced against the doors of the metro. _ ‘I’m going to die before I even start.’ _ was what crossed his mind when he heard his desired stop being called out. Bless the design of the carriage, the door opened on the opposite side and he had to squeeze and elbow his way through the crowd to get to the other side. Once he was finally out, he looked at the picture of the map he captured on his phone earlier on, _ ‘2 more lines to switch.’ _

It was exhausting, definitely, but at the same time, it was exciting. For almost the whole of his life, he devoted himself to volleyball and his studies. When he’s free, he’d work on his volleyball. He left almost no time for himself to go on a vacation or to explore other hobbies. But right now, he’s in somewhere he’s almost completely foreign with and he got to admit, it’s nice stepping out of his comfort zone at times.

The first thing he did when he finally reached his apartment was to plonk down on the bed. Thank goodness he had ordered everything to be furnished before he arrived, it would have been impossible for him to come to an empty room after all that mad rush hour he’s just been through. Letting out a long tiring sigh, he looked around aimlessly, letting his mind absorb the new information of how his room looks like. His apartment wasn’t big but large enough for one person to live in with comfort. It was a typical 1-room flat, with minimal furniture such as a super single-sized bed, a study table, in-built wardrobe, a 6ft bookshelf and a nice fan to get him through the summer. It was pretty worth the rent considering how it was only 30 minutes away from _ Todai. _

Time flew by quickly for him over the year. Within his first year in Tokyo, he established aspects such as his favorite café located at the end of the street, his new-found hobby photography, and also the “fashion” of Tokyo. He had also gotten used to the mad hours in the morning which he had to remind himself not to enter the metro at that timing if there were no need to. He hadn’t made any friends yet but that was fine. Some solitary was good, and it wasn’t as if he would want to burden others with exploring Tokyo. 

Right now, he was standing in front of a large building, with the name carved on the gates of the building – University of Tokyo. Here goes nothing. A new life has officially started for Oikawa. Did it though?

【Astronomy】  
That’s right. He enrolled in the astronomy major after much consideration. He always had an interest in stars and all, so he figured that astronomy would have had been the most suitable course for him to major in. Stepping into the lecture theatre, alongside with some other freshmen, he was surprised at how huge the place was, compared to those classrooms he had back in Miyagi. He got himself a seat at the back of the lecture theatre and once he was all settled down, he put on his black-framed spectacles which marked the end of his preparation. He was always keen to learn. Some would call him a nerd but intaking new information was always fascinating for him. His very first lesson included mainly the briefing, and setting of expectations for the next 4 years to come. It was also made known to him that there would be several orientation camps if he was interested in making some friends to get by university, and also the available clubs that the school offered. 

“Hello!” a voice on his right reached his ear when the briefing ended. Oikawa turned towards the source of the voice, only to be greeted with a blondie. The guy who spoke to him had rather bright yellow hair and a length which allowed his hair to be tied into a small ponytail at the end. Other than that, the blondie was dressed in a plain white tee shirt and black bottom. “Hey.” Oikawa smiled towards the guy as his hands fumbled to pack his belongings. 

“I’m Arata. Arata Ichikawa.” 

“I’m Oikawa. Oikawa Tooru.” 

“Do you want to check out the clubs together? I am thinking of joining something sporty, how about you?”

“Maybe photography,” Oikawa replied. “Ahhh, maybe volleyball for me.” Arata laughed as he did a serving gesture in thin air. Oikawa winced a little at the mention of volleyball but did not make any additional input. “You look like the sporty type though,” Arata added on as they left the lecture theatre together. Oikawa just smiled as he waved it off. At the atrium of the university were many booths set up for the freshman, each booth representing different clubs. 

Oikawa couldn’t help but smile at the phenomenal sight, the atrium was an absolute beauty and the bustling student body moving from booth to booths reminded him of the reality that he was starting a new life in Tokyo without knowing anyone. Well, except the blondie he just met. He turned towards the taller male who looked just as excited as he was. “Should we explore them together or set a time to meet after?” Oikawa asked. Arata didn’t seem like a bad guy, considering how he took the initiative to interact with him. Arata didn’t respond with words but rather, he took Oikawa’s hand and pulled him forward. _ ‘Together then.’ _ Oikawa thought to himself as he let himself get pulled by the blondie. They first went to visit the aesthetic section where clubs such as drawing, photography, theatre were involved. Even though Oikawa had already set his mind on the photography club, there was no harm in checking out other clubs as well. Who knows, maybe something would change his mind. He indicated his name on the freshman list of the photography club which indicated his interest before the pair went to check out other sections. 

He must have been pretty engaged in checking out the booths, it had slipped his mind that Arata was intending to join a sports club, with the special mention of volleyball. 

“Let’s check the sports section next!” Arata beamed as he pointed towards a certain direction. Oikawa’s smile faltered a little. He could reject the invitation but seeing how Arata accompanied him to where he desired, it would have been mean to deny him right now. “Sure, I guess.” Oikawa nodded as they headed towards the sports section.

Some of the booths were filled with freshmen, such as the basketball club, or the baseball club. Oikawa could see the attention of Arata’s drift to basketball as Oikawa elbowed Arata gently, “Interested?” Arata laughed as he shook his head, “I did basketball for almost my whole life, I want to try something different.” 

Oikawa looked at Arata for a moment before he smiled. _ ‘He’s like me then. Something new huh. Maybe we have more things in common than expected.’ _

“I heard that the volleyball club here is filled with strong players. So maybe they could teach me a skill or two. I mean, it’s probably too late to take up a new skill right now and expect them to put me on the court for competitions, but I wouldn’t say no to learning something new.” Arata explained whilst already dragging Oikawa towards the volleyball booth. Before Oikawa could say anything, they were already standing before the volleyball booth. 

The volleyball booth had several decorations, such as pictures of the team, the past-years trophies, two volleyballs on the table and their jerseys. Their home jersey was black with white font, and away jersey was white with black fonts. Pretty basic but it was pretty nevertheless. Oikawa hadn't touch volleyball since graduation. Would he do it again? Maybe not. 

“Oikawa?” a familiar voice snapped him out of his thoughts as he spun around quickly, towards the voice. His eyes widened at the sight that greeted him. Black spiky hair, that unique smile, that height, those thigh muscles. “...Kuroo?” 

Kuroo Tetsurou. One of the top-notch players during the high school days. Someone Oikawa has always wanted to go against but never had a chance to, all thanks to Ushijima and Karasuno sealing off his path to nationals. Oikawa had only seen Kuroo on the television during national matches which Nekoma somehow always made it in. He had seen Kuroo’s skills on screen, but for him to be standing right before Oikawa was something completely different. “You know me?” Oikawa asked in confusion. They had never met. He was probably just a small fry compared to Kuroo. “Seijoh crazy setter ain’t it?” Kuroo said with a little smugness as if it was an achievement to know who Oikawa was. “And, it’s not Kuroo, its Kuroo-senpai,” Kuroo added on with the same smugness. Oikawa’s confusion morphed into a scowl, “We are the same age.” 

Kuroo extended his index finger and moved it left and right, “It’s my second year here, I’m your senpai. Call me senpai.” 

Oikawa groaned, just when he thought university was going to be fun, it's about to be ruined singlehandedly by a man he had no intention to be associated with. “Arata let’s go.”  
“You know him? That’s Kuroo Tetsurou isn’t it! The ace defender of the team! Ex-captain of Nekoma.” Arata said excitedly, “I have seen you on the television! You played like Wham! Bam!” 

_ ‘Just how much did this guy research on volleyball before this?’ _ Oikawa looked at Arata with slight amusement at the amount of information he had. But then again, Kuroo was undoubtedly famous during high school. It was one of the commonly heard names alongside with Ushijima and Bokuto. Kuroo nodded with a laugh, “Yes, wham bam.” 

Kuroo glanced at Oikawa’s knee briefly before he took the freshman list and reached it out to Oikawa, “You are joining right? Just indicate your name– “ 

“I’m not interested.” Oikawa cut him off before he could complete his sentence. “Arata is though.” Not really grasping the situation, Arata just took the list from Kuroo’s hand and indicated his name on the list. “What do you mean you aren’t interested?” Kuroo said, thinking that Oikawa was just playing hard to get. Kuroo laughed and took the list from Arata before shoving it into Oikawa’s hands. “Do you not want to be my teammate or something? Our best setter just graduated last year so your involvement would help us shit tons.” Kuroo dropped his arm over Oikawa’s shoulder as he nodded towards the list, “Your name.”

Oikawa shrugged Kuroo’s arm off, _ ‘What’s with this sense of intimacy.’ _

“I don’t play volleyball anymore,” Oikawa said, with more firmness this time as he returned Kuroo the sheet. “Why not?” Kuroo’s brows furrowed. “If you know me, you would have known what happened,” Oikawa muttered before he dragged the confused blondie away.

_ ‘He knows. I saw it.’ _ Oikawa thought to himself. It was a glance that lasted less than a split second but he saw Kuroo’s gaze shifting towards his knee before approaching him with the list. Oikawa was dressed in a pair of black jeans with no awkward indication of any injury of sorts, hence the fact that Kuroo’s attention shifted means that he knew. He knew that Oikawa could never play volleyball ever again. 

People who knew Oikawa probably knew he had a bad knee. People who were there during his semi-finals against Karasuno a year ago, would have known that he had once again, aggravated his injury. It wasn’t the first time, but it was definitely his last. Right after the match ended, Iwaizumi had forced him to get his knee checked at the hospital. He remembered distinctively what his doctor told him. The doctor had said that he had injured his knee repeatedly at the same spot before it even had a chance to recover fully. As a result, if the same spot continues getting agitated, it would only decrease the efficiency of his knee. Right now, he’s still young hence the problem may not seem grave as of yet, but once he hit the later age, his knee would eventually give way. 

Oikawa shook the old memories away as he cleared his mind. He didn’t fully explain to Arata what happened earlier, but rather, just brushing it off as being in volleyball for a brief period of his life. Arata didn’t pry either, but whether he actually sensed something wrong was debatable. Maybe he just didn’t care that much considering how they just met. Nevertheless, the thought of Kuroo lingered in his mind throughout the day. What was he expecting when he thought that no one in Tokyo would know him? Sure, he had taken into consideration that perhaps even Ushijima may have enrolled in some Tokyo university, but he did not think that such coincidence would exist. If he were to compare between meeting Ushijima or Kuroo, he would have definitely preferred the idea of the latter. Imagine having to call Ushijima senpai. To hell with it. But regardless of which, both options were equally bad. All in all, he just didn’t want anyone who knew he used to be in volleyball. 

A week or two passed by without much issues except the same trouble with the morning rush hour. Other than that, Oikawa was getting well-adjusted to university life. Through this short period of time he spent in Tokyo, he realised that he was actually rather easily adaptable to his surroundings. He and Arata grew slightly closer over the weeks, alongside with some other people he made friends with. They would dine together mid-curriculum and would also hang out after school occasionally. Furthermore, Arata coincidentally stays a stop away from Oikawa so they would head towards the metro station together after classes every day. 

Oikawa also successfully joined the photography club that was pretty chilled, considering how they only required attendance once per week just to show the pictures they have taken over the week, and receiving tips on how to improve in return. Arata on the other hand, could not make it into the volleyball club. If Oikawa had to comment on Arata’s playing style, he must say, Arata was not cut for it. After being in basketball for so long, old habits die hard. During the volleyball audition, Arata repeatedly caught the volleyball in his hand rather than receiving it properly. Hence, after going to several sports auditions, he got himself into the swimming club instead. 

With that said, it seems as if neither Oikawa nor his friends had any connection with the volleyball club anymore. Which was good. 

Another day of class just ended when someone ran into Oikawa’s lecture theatre as he was packing up. “Tooooooru!” a voice resonated in the theatre. Arata looked over as his face lit up, “Ah! It’s Kuroo-senpai!” 

“Kuroo-senpai my foot,” Oikawa muttered as he quickly back-faced Kuroo, hoping that he wasn’t seen. He tried to escape the lecture theatre from the backdoor when he felt a hand on his shoulder. “How rude of you to ignore your senpai.” 

“What do you want?” Oikawa scowled towards Kuroo. He never thought that someone more irritating than Kageyama would appear in his life. The past two weeks have been peaceful with the thought of Kuroo tucked away in the furthest corner of his mind, but it’s back at full force now. “Let’s talk.” 

“I have to head to my club activity right now,” Oikawa replied as he spun around. “Photography club? You can always just turn up tomorrow. Do you know how long it took me to look for you? I had to check almost every major, I didn’t expect you to be in astronomy major,” Kuroo rambled on, “at least let me have a chance to convince you to switch clubs.” Kuroo was really getting on his nerve, what exactly does this guy want? It wasn’t as if Oikawa was the only setter alive in the world, he could always just find someone else. “I like photography.” was all Oikawa could say. If Kuroo doesn’t mention his injury, he had no obligation to mention it first, just in case, it was really by chance Kuroo had some sort of knee fetish. “And also, volleyball.” Kuroo added on, “Come watch our practice tonight, at 7pm. If you swear that not a single cell in your body wants to get on the court to play, I will let you go. However, if there’s any chance you want to play, come. Our coach has heard of you prior, and when I told him you enrolled in our school, he was also keen on having you. You would have a chance to shine if you join our club, furthermore, a lot of us are working towards being in the national team, being able to represent Japan during Olympics and all. Isn’t that what you want as well?”

Oikawa had no idea why he had to stay behind to hear Kuroo talk about something he was not interested in. “Or was it because Iwaizumi is no longer with you? You can’t play without him?” Kuroo questioned. Oikawa knew what Kuroo was trying to do. If this happened back in high school, Oikawa would have taken up the bait and went, “Who says I can’t do it? I will prove it to you.” and then proceeds to foolishly join the club. Things were different now, trying to provoke him won’t work that way. “That’s right. I will only play volleyball with Iwa-chan. If you can bring him to Tokyo, I will join your damn club.” Oikawa muttered a response before walking off, with Arata chasing after him shortly after.

Before anyone starts dishing out weird angst about Oikawa and Iwaizumi not being able to stay together forever because they went to a different university, it wasn’t that case. Oikawa still bothers Iwaizumi from time to time over the phone. They would communicate via text messages and phone calls at night and are very well caught up with one another’s life. After all, they spent most of their life together, it would be too harsh to just cut one another off just because they have different ambitions in mind. Even though he had said that line to Kuroo as a way to get away from him, Oikawa knew that there was some truth in his words. Playing with Iwaizumi was completely different from just playing with random teammates on the court. The synergy and chemistry they shared were almost unbeatable. With just one glance, one nod, one blink, they would understand what one another are trying to achieve on the court. Even though people would consider him as a crazy setter, it was really because he had teammates such as Iwaizumi that he could shine on the court. 

_ ‘Japan team huh.’ _

Which idiot would turn up at the practice later when he could be off somewhere doing better stuff? Which idiot would bother giving in to a black spiky hair dude’s word? Which idiot would even–Oikawa was the idiot. Despite all those words about not being interested, he found himself at the indoor bleachers of the school’s volleyball court was at. The school was big enough to even have a space designated for volleyball. Back in Miyagi, the team would have had to compete with the basketball club for the school gym, and they had to take the effort to roll out the nets and balls before training starts. Things were different in Tokyo, was the first thought that went through Oikawa’s mind when he first stepped into the gym. The smell of ice spray brought back memories. He settled down at the back row in hopes that no one saw him coming in, _ ‘I’m just going to watch, prove my point and leave.’ _

Surprisingly, the practice was very much alike back in Miyagi. All the warm-ups, drills they did, was something Oikawa had to say, he was familiar with. Very familiar with indeed. He could feel his fingers twitch a little as he watches the practice go on. When it was time for a practice match, he felt this adrenaline rush in wanting to join them on the court. The way the ball flies over the net perfectly, sharply, and accurately. He wants to do that too. It was also undeniable how eye-catching Kuroo was on the court. His blocks were precise, his dives and saves were game-changing as well. _ ‘If Iwaizumi saw this, he would be so impressed.’ _

The standard was truly different. The players on the court practicing right now were probably players who had more years of experience than him. They had a different physique that was trained and accustomed to volleyball playing. He wouldn’t say that it was a dream team, but it just felt different. And he wanted to be part of that standard. He looked down at his knee as he rubbed it gently, _ ‘But I can’t.’ _

With that thought in mind, Oikawa left the gym 2 hours into practice. He decided to push the thoughts of volleyball completely out of his mind as he headed home. 

At about 11pm, he suddenly had the urge to grab some light supper from the nearest convenience store which was about 5-minute walk away from his apartment. Dressed lightly in his usual turquoise hoodie and track pants, he walked in the chilly night towards the convenient store while fumbling with his camera, scrolling through the pictures he had taken on the way home from school earlier on. He stopped at a picture he took earlier on that day. The picture depicted a cheering Kuroo when he managed to block an ace’s spike. That instance was captured and the expression was priceless. It was such a genuine smile Oikawa couldn’t help but smile a little as well. He knew that feeling really well. Whenever they won a set or even a score, it was that happiness and excitement at that moment that makes volleyball such a fun sport. You never know who’s going to win at the end and every point was precious. 

Just as he was focused on the screen of his camera, he bumped into a taller male as he fell back a few steps due to the unexpected impact. “Ah sorry.” Oikawa apologized quickly as he looked up to see Kuroo right in front of him. “The real one!?” Oikawa gasped before clasping his hand to his mouth. “Yeah, the real one. What real one?” Kuroo replied. Similar to Oikawa, Kuroo was also in a hoodie and track pants, just that his was full grey. 

“What are you doing here?” Kuroo asked. “What are you doing here?!” Oikawa replied, barely managing to overcome the embarrassment from what happened earlier. “I stay here. Well, near here.” Kuroo pointed towards the opposite direction from Oikawa. 

Awkward silence. 

“Are you going to go in then?” Kuroo continued, pointing towards the convenient store that both men were standing outside of for the past 2 minutes. _ ‘What luck? I have been walking around for the past 1 year and I hadn’t seen him and now he’s everywhere?’ _ Oikawa thought to himself as he entered the convenient store, knowing that Kuroo was trailing behind him.

Once Oikawa stepped in, he headed straight to the dessert store. And Kuroo? Followed Oikawa. After Oikawa grabbed the puddings he was craving for, he headed towards the instant food aisle. And Kuroo? Grabbed the same puddings and followed Oikawa. When Oikawa was done selecting the ramen he wanted, he headed towards the drink section. And Kuroo? Grabbed the same brand of ramen and followed Oikawa.

Oikawa paused in his steps and spun around, brows furrowed, clearly irritated. “What do you want?”

“Why are you curious about what I am craving for?” Kuroo replied, mock defensively as he hid his food selection jokingly. Oikawa groaned as he proceeded to check out his order and Kuroo followed suit. When they stepped out, Kuroo stood in front of Oikawa, “So how was it?”

“How was what?” Oikawa replied, still in annoyance. “The volleyball practice. I know you turned up. I saw your brown hair from where I was, you even took a picture of me.” Kuroo replied with his usual smug look. Oikawa was starting to hate how Kuroo acted like he knew everything, even though it was right on the spot. “It was okay, I was just there to get some pictures for my club,” Oikawa muttered. “Really,” Kuroo smirked, obviously not believing the words coming out from the shorter male in front of him. “You don’t have to believe me if you don’t wish to. Now, if you would excuse me.” Oikawa added on before nudging Kuroo aside and walking off into the distance.

“I want to see you in the next practice Tooru. It’s every Monday and Wednesday at 7pm. This Wednesday. You have to be there. We will play. Together.” Kuroo called out. Oikawa was about to ignore whatever Kuroo was saying when he heard the black male adding something behind his words. 

“Regardless of your injury, I want to see _ you _ play again.”


	2. The Attempt

That made Oikawa stops in his track. _ ‘So he knew huh.’ _ Oikawa turned around as he looked at Kuroo dead in his eyes, “If you knew, why are you still trying?” Kuroo looked stunned momentarily at the cold aura Oikawa was emitting before he gave a gentle smile, “Because you looked like you wanted to play.” Oikawa’s eyes widened before looking away in silence. There was no point in continuing this meaningless conversation. Kuroo would just continue trying to convince him to play while he would continue convincing himself that he’s not interested. “I watched your match,” Kuroo went on, “That last moment. The way the ball came. Considering the angle, and inertia, it was inevitable. However, throughout the game, I watched you fall. I watched you get back on your feet. I watched your long set over to Iwaizumi. That was amazing. And you had fun, right?” 

“Don’t decide on your own what I feel. You don’t even know me.” Oikawa’s grip of the convenience store’s plastic bag tightened. “And you aren’t giving me a chance to,” Kuroo responded promptly. _ ‘This guy…’ _ “There’s no need to. I made my stand pretty clear earlier on. If there’s no Iwa-chan, you won’t be seeing me on the court either. Now leave me alone.” Oikawa’s brows tightened before he turned and walked off. “What are you? In love with your ace?” Kuroo shouted out before turning around and heading off in the opposite direction. 

Oikawa didn’t turn back either. He should have had just walked off the moment he saw Kuroo just now rather than striking a conversation.

Once Oikawa made it home, he realized he had already lost his appetite after the encounter earlier on. Sighing to himself, he laid on his bed, his eyes fixated on the ceiling. 

_ “What are you? In love with your ace?” _

Ever since his high school days…no middle school days? Or perhaps childhood? He couldn’t remember when, but there was this clear moment when he looked at Iwaizumi and realized that he wasn’t interested in girls romantically. So, technically, once again, Mr. Know-It-All wasn’t wrong. It was probably pretty obvious, judging the way he acted around Iwaizumi. All those hugs and nickname exchanges. However, since Iwaizumi and Oikawa have had such exchanges since forever, he knew, that to his childhood friend, this was nothing more than just being _ ‘normal friends’. _ Oikawa was satisfied with that though. Rather than creeping his friend out with his romantic interest, he was satisfied being by Iwaizumi’s side all the time. But as they grew older, it was getting tougher to hang around especially when the Seijoh gang talks about girls and he could see Iwaizumi being interested. Perhaps that was also the reason why Oikawa could get over the fact, that Iwaizumi wasn’t following him to Tokyo, that quickly. It felt more of a…release.

_ “I watched your long set over to Iwaizumi. That was amazing. And you had fun, right?” _

Oikawa felt his eyes slipping closed as he allowed it to happen. Once his eyelids blocked out the light radiating in the room, he drifted off to his dreamland. In his dream, he was standing on the court, with his teammates, even though it was hard to decipher who they were. Their faces were all a little fuzzy. He was laughing, and having fun. Cheering when he managed to get a point with his demonic serve. _ ‘Iwa-chan did you see what I did there?’ _ was what he said at an approaching figure. However, the person who complimented his serve was someone else…someone that looks like an ugly black cat.

Oikawa’s eyes shot open just in time to hear his alarm going off. He sat up quickly as he clutched his racing heart. “That was…”

“Absolute nightmare.” Oikawa scowled.

When he finally got his ass to class, he was already dreading to head home. That one dream felt as if it took all his energy away. One moment he felt like he was having a blast, and the next, the guy just had to appear. He ruffled his hair out of annoyance, _ ‘Damn it! It was the perfect opportunity to dream of Iwa-chan but he had to appear with his annoying smug smirk, ugh.’ _ “You okay?” Arata asked out of genuine concern as Oikawa looked at Arata, “I’m not but I don’t want to talk about it. Nothing. He’s boycotted.” 

“Who is?”

“Kuroo – ugh, shut up! He’s boycotted! Boycotted!” 

Arata looked at him as if he had finally lost his last screw before he laughed. “What’s so funny?” Oikawa frowned, “I’m being serious here. Real serious.” “No, it’s just that, I haven’t seen you being so expressive until a moment ago.” Arata pointed out, “You always seem to be bottling up in silence, it’s nice once in a while to hear you being angry.” 

“You…!” Oikawa pouted as he punched Arata’s arm before groaning, _ ‘The God is finally done with me and is turning the world against me today.’ _

Once the classes for the day was over, Oikawa could not be more than eager to leave the lecture theatre. Classes were okay, but his mental state wasn’t. And it’s not going to get better. 

“Toooooru~” 

“Argh!” Oikawa gave out a loud groan as he hopped over the desk before him before making a run towards the exit. It happened so fast Arata was still packing up when Oikawa left the lecture theatre. “Ain’t his legs working super fine.” Kuroo faked a scowl before looking at Arata, “Ichikawaaaa~” 

“W-What do you want?” Arata looked at Kuroo. “Y-You are boycotted today!” Arata then added on before hurrying off after Oikawa, leaving behind a stunned and lonely man. “What’s wrong with those two today…” Kuroo ran his fingers through his hair with a sigh, “And to think I was hoping to convince him today after yesterday.”

_ ‘He’s. So. Annoying.’ _ Oikawa’s scowl couldn’t get any worst as he marched out of the school gates. _ ‘Is he dumb? Or playing dumb? Was yesterday’s conversation nothing? Did I dream of that conversation? Why can’t he get it? I don’t wanna play.’ _ he thought to himself as his hand gestured in the air as if trying to reason with someone.

When Wednesday arrived, Oikawa did not turn up for the practice that Kuroo crazily wanted him to. However, he had a good reason not to turn up. He did not have classes on Wednesdays, and if Kuroo were to be looking for him, it would be nice to let that man source desperately for someone that wasn’t within the school ground. 

There were no classes for Oikawa that day, but he was wide awake at 7am. It was that same dream again. With the same, freaking, protagonist. Oikawa kicked around in his bed with annoyance as he grabbed his phone off the desk and texted Iwaizumi. 

【 I had the same nightmare twice in the row. I think someone in my school is giving me PTSD. 】

That night, he had a dream once again. The same dream. Same surroundings. The players were still as fuzzy as ever, with only one crystal clear face. The black-haired male had his arm draped around Oikawa’s shoulder as they celebrated some sort of victory. Kuroo was smiling in his dream, and so was he. 

“You’re boycotted!” Oikawa snapped at Kuroo that day in school after classes ended. Once he snapped, he would turn and dash for the exit, leaving Kuroo speechless once again.

The next few days just felt like a repeated déjà vu. And every day, for the week, Kuroo was getting boycotted without knowing why. Even if they were to meet coincidentally at the convenience store on a Sunday night, all Oikawa did was shout “Boycott!” at Kuroo before running off with the bag of snacks in his hand.

One week have passed by with Oikawa acting like a spoiled robot whenever Kuroo comes within sight, which also meant that Oikawa been dreaming of Kuroo for the past one week. Initially, Kuroo found Oikawa kind of cute running off but as the days went by, it was getting inevitably frustrating. On the 7th consecutive day of being ignored, Kuroo had it. 

“Oi.” Kuroo called as he grabbed Oikawa’s wrist after Oikawa’s daily phrase of “Boycott!” Oikawa tried to break free but Kuroo’s grip was firm and tight. “What,” Oikawa muttered under his breath, not facing Kuroo. “What’s wrong with you?” Kuroo’s brows furrowed. 

“Let me go.” 

“You’re just going to run off if I release you.”

“Hell right, Mr. Know-It-All.”

“What should I do with you,” Kuroo sighed, “Have you always been like this?”

“Aren’t you the one who put some sort of curse on me!” Oikawa looked at Kuroo with puffed cheeks. 

“Curse?” 

However, before Oikawa could say anything else, someone called out Kuroo’s name, “Kuroo, it’s time for practice.” Kuroo gave the person a nod before directing his attention back to Oikawa who seemed to have calmed down a little. Kuroo released his wrist as he turned around, ready to leave. 

“Aren’t you going to ask me to tag along?” Oikawa said as Kuroo’s head snapped around, “You will?” Pause. “Why?” Kuroo added on, with a semi-teasing tone. “Shut up,” Oikawa mumbled as he followed Kuroo over to the school gym. _ ‘I don’t know what happened, or what curse, but whatever it is, something happened. For the better, I hope.’ _ Kuroo thought to himself with a smile. “Don’t smile, it’s creepy. I’m doing this just to lift the curse,” Oikawa frowned, “Yes yes.” Kuroo grinned.

When they reached the gym, Kuroo explained the situation briefly to the coach, making it clear that Oikawa was just here to try out and expecting more would only lead to disappointment. At the moment at least. Kuroo grabbed some spare knee guards for Oikawa as he tossed a sweatshirt over as well. “Don’t wish to sweat in your outfit, do you?” 

“Thanks,” Oikawa said as he changed out of his current attire. “Did you wear this before? It reeks of you.” Oikawa sniffed the sleeves of the sweatshirt. It wasn’t a nasty smell per se, but he wouldn’t admit it. “Yeah, I haven’t washed that in years, now get on the court.” Kuroo retorted as he tested a few balls. The training went on smoothly, the warm-ups, the drills, and some additional individual specialized pieces of training. Since Oikawa was new to the practice, he did not have any specialized training, so he just tagged alongside the team’s setter. Kuroo was practicing his blocks with the team’s wing spiker but his gaze shifted to Oikawa from time to time. He could see Oikawa smiling as he couldn’t help but smile to himself as well, _ ‘As I thought, volleyball still suits him the best.” _

Everything went on as planned until the practice match. It started as usual when all Kuroo saw was the brown-haired male on the other side of the net falling over with a loud thud. Everything seemed like it was in slow motion at that instant. The ball went over in a suitable projectile to be considered as ‘chance ball’ but all he could see was Oikawa moving in an awkward position before falling over while trying to receive the ball. 

Kuroo’s eyes widened as he dashed over to Oikawa’s side, “Oi, Tooru, you okay?” he asked as he knelt on his right knee beside the fallen body. The rest crowded over to observe the situation. “I will bring him to the infirmary, you all carry on,” Kuroo said as he looked over his shoulder to gain acknowledgment from the coach. Once he received a nod from the coach, Kuroo lifted Oikawa in bridal style before walking out of the gym. 

“You okay?” Kuroo asked again but there was no response. There was no resistance to being carried either. “Oi, I’m asking you a question.” Silence. 

This silence persisted during the walk from the gym to the infirmary. Once they reached the infirmary, Kuroo rested Oikawa gently onto the bed before explaining to the nurse what happened. Kuroo leaned against the wall beside the bed as the nurse checked on the silent Oikawa. “It’s nothing major, this is the result of not warming it up properly before exercising. He would be fine after some rest.” the nurse said as Kuroo thanked her before she left to give them some space. _ ‘Insufficient warm-up? I’m pretty sure we all did it together...’ _ Kuroo frowned at the thought.

“It didn’t move,” Oikawa spoke in a soft voice.

“What?” Kuroo said, not catching him for the first time as he sat on the edge of the bed, looking down at Oikawa who was currently under the blanket. “My leg.”

Now that he mentioned it, Kuroo did notice how when the ball moved over, even though it was on Oikawa’s left side, his right leg moved first, causing the imbalance. “Did you prevent using your left leg during the warm-up just now?” Kuroo sighed, “Is that why?” 

Silence.

“But you had fun, didn’t you?” Kuroo asked as he tugged on the covers. 

Silence.

“Oi, don’t ignore me –“ Kuroo paused as he saw Oikawa’s face after successfully pulling the covers away from his face. Oikawa wasn’t crying, but there weren’t any other expressions either. He was just staring blankly as if his soul had left him. It was probably 3 seconds later before Oikawa’s face scrunched up a little. And then tears. Tears came out of Oikawa’s brown eyes as he covered his face, “I had fun.” Kuroo felt a little tug on his heartstrings. Wanting to play, yet being unable to play, is probably any sportsperson’s worst nightmare. He once had an injury which wasn’t major but enough to take him off the court for 3 weeks and he was suffering and itching to get on the court, it was almost pure torture. “Then it’s fine, isn’t it? That’s all you need to know.” Kuroo pulled Oikawa’s hands away from his face. “Aren’t you an ugly crybaby.” 

“Shut up,” Oikawa muttered, his eyes red. “If you want to play, we can always visit different doctors in Tokyo, maybe they would be of some help,” Kuroo explained as he released Oikawa’s hands, watching him sit up straight from the lying position. 

“It isn’t as if I can’t play forever, the doctor just told me to be careful. But…” Oikawa breathed, “Honestly, when the doctors told me I had a bad knee…I knew part of me was thankful. I was already in a slump before that so when the injury came along…I thought it would have been perfect for me to stop playing. After losing to Karasuno…I just thought that there was no way that practice would be able to overpower talent.”

Kuroo knocked Oikawa’s forehead before shaking his head, “Isn’t that even better? It just means that you can play volleyball after all but refuses to.” Oikawa rubbed his forehead before letting his hands dropped onto his lap, looking at his hands. “Alright then, all are settled. You can stay in your photography club all you want, but come to practice every Thursday night.” 

“Aren’t the practices on Mondays and Wednesdays?”

“I’m talking about practice. I’ll get a ball and we will play every Thursday. Once we lift that mental barrier of yours,” Kuroo said as he pointed at Oikawa’s heart, “Then we will get you on the court once more.”

“Let’s try again. Together this time.” Kuroo smiled.

And so, the private Thursday practices have begun. 

The first few weeks of practice was rather easy, with them doing the basics all over again. After all, Oikawa took a 1-year break from volleyball, there were many things he had to build on again, such as his stamina. His accuracy was still on point though. Oikawa had told Kuroo the ‘curse’, which Kuroo laughed badly. 

“Have anyone ever told you, you have the ugliest laugh ever. Like a hyena.” Oikawa scowled as they were packing up for the day. “Has anyone ever told you, you cry like a squished orange,” Kuroo replied as he kept his knee guards back into his locker. This kind of banter had become common between them, with neither party getting genuinely insulted.

After their Thursday practices, they would head to the subway together. After reaching their stop, they would head over to the convenience store as if it was an unwritten rule. From there, they would buy whatever they wanted or needed before separating into their respective directions by the entrance of the store. It was safe to say, they have become closer over the weeks.

Other than that, both Oikawa and Kuroo was doing extremely well academically, which didn’t come as a surprise, seeing how both of them had always been intelligent breeds. 

It was a Friday night as Kuroo was packing his bag after the last lecture of the day. _ ‘Home~ Home~’ _ Kuroo hummed to himself as he swings his bag over his right shoulder. Friday was always a good day. He had only one lecture, and it was Chemistry, his favorite subject, so the time always seemed to fly past quickly. Just as he was about to leave the theatre, he felt a tug on his black tee shirt. Kuroo turned around, facing the shorter male. “Tooru? Why are you here?” Kuroo asked as he tried to study Oikawa’s facial expression for any possible hints. “It’s Friday night, I was thinking, maybe we could get some drinks together,” he said as if it was completely normal for them to drink together. They were never drinking buddies. Kuroo raised an eyebrow but caught on pretty quickly. _ ‘Something must have happened.’ _

“Sure, why not?” Kuroo smiled softly before they headed out.

On the way, they had a little debate of whether they should head to a restaurant to get drinks, or grab some beer and drinking at either one’s place. It was clear after 2 hours that the initial decision wouldn’t have had mattered either, judging from the current situation. At the moment, Oikawa was sprawled all over Kuroo’s bed, face flushed, and slipping in and out of consciousness. “Seriously…” Kuroo sighed.

_ 2 hours ago… _

“Restaurant then. There’s this good restaurant nearby, perhaps we can grab dinner as we drink.” Kuroo suggested. After reaching the restaurant, they both ordered tonkatsu and one pint of beer each. Everything was still under control as they consumed their food. Everything was still under control when both of them gulped down their beer. Everything was still under control until Oikawa was downing his third cup.

“Oi, slow down.” Kuroo had warned, which fell on Oikawa’s deaf ears. “Did something happen?” Kuroo finally brought up the question he had been wanting to ask all this time. “Iwa-chan he…” Oikawa mumbled as he ordered another pint of beer, “He got a girlfriend.” It didn’t take much knowledge to grasp the situation. To be honest, even before this drinking session, Kuroo had suspected just as much. Even during their private pieces of training, ‘Iwa-chan’ wasn’t something uncommon to hear. His name was always thrown around, Kuroo could have sworn that at some point in time he felt like he had known Iwaizumi for years. “He got a girlfriend, knowing that I…” Oikawa emptied the newly placed pint of beer before his head finally gave way as it plonked onto the table.

“Tooru.” Kuroo extended his hand to shake Oikawa’s shoulder, “Oi.” 

Oikawa was out cold.

_ Present _

_ ‘So, I had to, carry you, all the way back to my house.’ _ Kuroo gave a sharp inhale, _ ‘And to think that you have the audacity to throw up on the way back home.’ _ Kuroo scowled as he removed his shirt that was stained with unidentifiable foreign substances. Tossing it into the sink for cleaning later on. He walked over to Oikawa as he tugged his shirt, which had some splatter of the same substance. “If I had known that you would be so needy, I would have just left you on the roadside.” Kuroo nagged as he pulled Oikawa’s shirt over his head and off him. Oikawa just mumbled something completely inaudible before turning and tossing in Kuroo’s bed. Kuroo sighed as he headed over to the bathroom, cleaning up the mess Oikawa made on both of their clothes. 

When the sunlight seeped through the small gap left by the curtain of Kuroo’s bedroom, Oikawa finally started to come around. The first thing Oikawa saw when he opened his eyes, was Kuroo sleeping beside him, shirtless. Oikawa’s brown eyes widened as he rolled off the bed in pure shock, pulling the blanket along with him. The moment the blanket revealed Kuroo’s shirtless body, his eyes fluttered open. “You are finally awake.” Kuroo yawned. Oikawa looked down at his attire. He was currently in Kuroo’s shirt which was too big for him. “W-Wha–“ Oikawa fumbled with his words as he looked around the room as if trying to get some memories from the night before. 

Kuroo always had the habit to sleep without his top, so it sort of slipped his mind what kind of misunderstanding it can bring about, to wake up beside a shirtless man. “You don’t remember what happened last night?” Kuroo asked as he sat up, running his hand through his bed hair. 

Oikawa, still with widening eyes, didn’t say anything as he grabbed his bag and dashed out of Kuroo’s house. 

“You’re welcome, I guess?” Kuroo’s eyes narrowed.

“What was _ that _? What did _ I _ do? What did _ we _ do?” Oikawa spoke to himself as he hurried home. 

“What have _I_ done!?”


	3. The Beginning

No matter how hard Oikawa tried, he couldn’t recall what exactly happened the day before. He could remember asking Kuroo out for a drink, and then? What happened afterward? Why was he in Kuroo’s bed _with_ him? Oikawa threw his head into his hands as he sat on the edge of his bed, eyes darting about as if trying to look deep into his memories. He then looked down at the huge ass tee shirt that smelt like the detergent Kuroo always used. Colors drained from his face as he let out a loud groan. _’I don’t remember anything…! I have never done anything before so I’m sure the drunk me wouldn’t have…engage in anything…with another male.’ _ Oikawa’s eyes narrowed as he laid down on his bed, _’I don’t have any experience in that sort of stuff but Mr. Know-It-All seems…’ _ His eyes widened before his face flushed red. What was he about to say? That Kuroo seem experienced? Experienced?

_’Should I just ask him after all… But what if nothing happened? He would think that I sound so ridiculous, thinking that he might be interested in a guy’s body. What if something did happen? What am I supposed to do? What answer am I even wishing to hear?’ _

Just as Oikawa was deep in thoughts, his phone vibrated in his pocket as he flinched at the sudden interruption. Taking out his phone, his eyes widened at the caller ID – Mr. Know-It-All. _’W-Why is he calling!? I’m not prepared yet!’ _ and out of pure reflex, Oikawa rejected the call. “AH…!” Oikawa let out a shout when he saw the rejected call being reflected on his phone screen. His mind was in a complete mess. He fumbled about with his phone when he paused at his messages, one of it saying,

【Shittykawa, I told you I would be able to get a girlfriend. I met this nice girl some time back, she’s called Sakura, I think it would work out this time.】 

Oikawa allowed his hand to fall to his sides, _’Right, that was the reason why I went drinking…’ _ Funny how something so major was cast aside after Kuroo stepped into the picture. _’This is the worst…’ _ Oikawa sighed as he pulled a pillow over his face, _’Shit, I feel like crying again.’ _ Now that reality had returned to him, the emotion he felt the day before gushed back into him. 

_ ‘Why was I born a guy?’ _

That question went through his mind many times, countless times. If only he was a girl, maybe, just maybe, Iwaizumi would have looked into his direction, and considered him. To be honest, no one knew Iwaizumi better than Oikawa, and vice versa. If Oikawa was a girl, they would have been what people labelled as ‘match made in heaven’. However, it seems like heaven had made a wrong step when determining the sex of Oikawa. 

The weekends passed by rather uneventfully with Oikawa consciously avoiding the convenience store just in case he would bump into _someone_. He just wasn’t ready to meet him yet, but he promised himself that once weekdays come about, he would act as if nothing happened, that is, if something did happen. After all, he wasn’t intending to let this matter come into his way of playing volleyball again. Then again, he could always find someone else to help him, but there was this special thing about Kuroo that made him felt like it was okay for them to talk, if there were any issue. That’s what Oikawa thought until something like _this_ happened. 

When Monday came about, Oikawa was feeling all fidgety throughout his lectures, knowing that Kuroo would probably pop up after his lessons to find him just like previous weeks. However, when the day was over, there was still no sighting of the black-haired male. Oikawa frowned a little but didn’t want to act as if he was disappointed or anything. He was slightly relieved how he did not have to face Kuroo so quickly, but at the same time, felt slightly empty on the inside without seeing the annoying _senpai_ after having to see him almost every day. 

His relief gradually changed to annoyance as Kuroo didn’t find him on Tuesday and Wednesday. To think that he woke up on the two mornings, building up his mental courage to prepare himself for the encounter, only to be ignored. Ignored probably wouldn’t be the best word to describe the situation but he was too frustrated to phrase it in a better way. 

_’Did he get tired of me? What? After we did all those kinds of stuff? He realized that men weren’t for him after all?’ _ After all these hours spent thinking to himself about that night, he had successfully convinced himself to believe that something did happen. What else could explain why Kuroo stopped sending incessant messages and finding him after class? He must have called that day to apologize or some sort. 

When Thursday came about, Oikawa was just about to have it. If Kuroo were to not turn up for their private practice that night, it’s over for them. He would just have to seek other alternatives to get his ass back on the court. Who said he needed Kuroo anyway? He’s Oikawa Tooru, not some other weaklings. Right. That’s a good mindset, Oikawa. 

At 7pm, he found himself all alone in the gym, with his volleyball in his hand as he sat on the bleachers. _’What the hell… Is he really not coming? To think that he was so determined 2 months ago.’ _ Oikawa frowned as he leaned back, setting light tosses upwards. 

“Oi, are you slacking?” 

Oikawa froze at the familiar voice as the ball fell onto his face before rolling off onto the floor. Oikawa looked at the figure walking through the gym door as he stood up, “You! Where have you been!” 

“What?” Kuroo said as he picked up the stray ball before tossing it back into Oikawa’s arms which was received accurately. “Ah, I had mid-terms coming up so…” Kuroo explained while heading towards the locker room. Oikawa’s brows furrowed even more as he trailed behind Kuroo, “Mid-terms? That’s all? That’s why you haven’t been annoying me?” 

Kuroo changed into his sports attire as he glanced over his shoulder, “You seem pretty annoyed enough either way.” he said, in a teasing manner. Oikawa’s fists clenched at those words as he looked away from Kuroo. Kuroo has no idea how tough it had been for him over the past six days, but here he is, acting as if nothing happened. The audacity. _’Two people can play this game. It would be better for us anyway.’ _ Oikawa thought to himself. If both of them continued acting as if nothing happened, they would be able to return to how they were before. 

“How are you feeling?” Kuroo asked as he put on his knee guards. 

“W-What?” 

“You were pretty emotional that night, crying and all.” 

"Crying? W-Who cried? Why would I cry?” 

“Huh? That night was pretty rough for you–“ 

“Shut up, I don’t want to hear it anymore!” 

“Why are you so red?” 

Oikawa could feel his whole face heating up as he grabbed his knee guards, “We don’t have that much time to chit-chat, do we?” Kuroo kept quiet as if he was thinking about Oikawa’s words before shrugging, “I guess you are right, but I’m thankful you seem fine. I probably wouldn’t wish the same thing to happen again.” “The feeling is mutual!” Oikawa snapped before heading out of the locker room. _’God damn it, at least act less regretful, stupid Mr. Know-It-All! Is this how you take responsibility for that night!?’ _ Oikawa was both pissed and hurt. Even if that night was not intended, for someone to take away his first time like this, and then disappearing for days just for some shitty academic reasons, and then reappearing, saying that he regrets that night. 

“Why are you pissed?” Kuroo sighed as he followed after Oikawa. “I should be the one being pissed, after all that I have done for you that night, all you did was shout the first thing in the morning rather than being grateful for my actions.” 

Oikawa let his jaw drop as if Kuroo was speaking in an alien language, “Me? Grateful? _Me_?” 

Kuroo’s brows furrowed but didn’t add on to it, seeing how the tension of this conversation wasn’t getting any better. 

The practice went by considerably okay with minimal communication. Oikawa was getting better in moving about, he was also slowly, but surely, getting back the standards he used to have. The trip home together, however, was awfully quiet, with neither one of them initiating a conversation. It was usually Kuroo’s job, but he felt that if he were to say something, it’d just throw Oikawa into a snappy mode, whatever the reason is. 

_ ‘I’m glad he’s fine now though.’ _ Kuroo thought to himself. Thinking back, Oikawa was really wasted that night. Kuroo personally had never had those unrequited love so he wouldn’t really say that he understood Oikawa thoroughly, but it was commonsensical that it would have taken a psychological toll to hear that the man he loves had gotten someone else beside them aside him. He had a few girlfriends here and there. He was serious for all relationship he started but it would always end with the same reason – _ “It always feels like I’m the only one in love, I’m tired Tetsurou…” _

He didn’t know why, but despite making time to hang out with his female partners, the conclusion is always the same. He was serious though. Genuinely. However, it was tough for him to be heavily invested in a relationship after knowing deep down that it would eventually end up the same way as it did before. Somewhere around his second year in Nekoma, he stopped looking for relationships. Perhaps, he just wasn’t cut for it. 

“Down to earth Mr. Know-It-All!” 

Kuroo blinked out of his train of thoughts as he looked down at the shorter male, “Huh? You said something?” 

“I said,” Oikawa inhaled, “You can go now!” 

Kuroo turned to look at his surroundings. He was already at the doorstep of Oikawa’s apartment subconsciously. “Ah,” Kuroo gave an awkward laugh as he rubbed the back of his head, “Right, see you then.” Kuroo was about to turn to leave when he stopped, “Oh right, your shirt. It’s still at my house. I’ll return it to you tomorrow so don’t escape after class.” 

Oikawa’s face turned red as he slammed his door shut in Kuroo’s face. 

_’I really can’t tell what’s going through that head of his.’ _ Kuroo sighed before heading off for his apartment. After knowing Oikawa personally for two months, it’s obvious that they had gotten a better understanding of one another, however, there was always this invisible wall both of them put around them. Kuroo knew that too. They were always together ever since Oikawa agreed to the private practices, and they both indeed enjoyed their time together. Volleyball was both of their passions so it was easy to hit it off. They could be talking about techniques, or some popular volleyball players all the time, leading to a never-ending conversation, but that was it. It was always volleyball. They wouldn’t talk about their majors, considering how different it was. They wouldn’t talk about love, seeing how they both didn’t have much success with it. If Oikawa wasn’t drunk, Kuroo would probably never have the chance to hear Oikawa talking about his love affairs, and this was the same for Kuroo. Except, even if he was drunk, he doubts he’d tell Oikawa anything about his relationship issues. He wanted Oikawa to be happy, that’s for sure, hence, telling him some sad love stories wouldn’t have done the job. _ ‘He probably wants the same as well, that’s why he kept those feelings bottled up all this time...’ _

Oikawa, on the other hand, had his face planted in his pillow as he kicked about in his bed. _’What does he want? Throwing such casual remarks as if nothing happened that night!’_ Oikawa sat up as he hugged his pillow to himself, _’I wonder how it happened… Did I kiss him? Or did he do it first? Did we even kiss? Then? Did he remove his shirt first, or did I do it? Or did he remove my shirt? How about–‘ _ Oikawa could feel his cooled face heating up once more as he tried to visualize his thoughts. _’What am I doing!?’ _ His mind drifted off to that morning when he was greeted by a toned body first thing in the morning. Those solid muscles that formed after countless training. Oikawa blushed as he punched his pillow a few times, _’What am I? A maiden in love? It’s not even the first time I’ve seen a naked body, I’ve seen Iwa-chan’s many times.’ _ Burying his face back into his pillow, he let out a muffled groan. 

The next day, as promised, Oikawa waited in his lecture theatre for Kuroo even though the lecturer had kindly ended the lecture earlier that day. Kuroo’s lecturer had released the class later than expected instead. When Kuroo’s class was finally done, he quickly made his way to Oikawa’s lecture theatre which was at another building. “I thought you weren’t going to come,” Oikawa muttered at the sight of sweaty Kuroo. “Sorry, the lecturer was being a jerk today.” Kuroo sighed, handing Oikawa a shopping bag with his freshly cleaned clothes in it. “I made sure no smell was left behind,” Kuroo explained, looking at Oikawa, waiting for a word of thanks. “Smell?” Oikawa questioned while handing Kuroo another shopping bag that contained the shirt Kuroo lent him that night. 

"Yeah, don’t you remember what happened that night? You threw up like a Merlion.” 

“I did?” 

“Yeah, it was all over my shirt. I had to get it washed. Both of our clothes. I would have had left you on the bed but I was afraid that you’d catch a cold if you slept without any clothing so I just lend you one of my shirts.” 

“That’s all?” 

“What do you mean that’s all? It was a pain in the ass taking care of you. I already told you that there was only one bed and you should go home, but you slept like a pig while holding onto my wrist when I tried to wake you up,” Kuroo scowled before rubbing his temples at the memories of that night, “I only fell asleep at wee hours that day. You had no idea how scared I was. What if you threw up on the bed while I was asleep? I was preparing myself to drag you to the toilet if you showed even the slightest hint of throwing up.” 

Oikawa blinked several times, trying to retain the newly fed information. “Nothing happened?” Oikawa clarified. 

“Are you even listening? After all those, it’s clear many things happened.” 

“I mean, we…we didn’t sleep together?” 

“We did! You didn’t let me go!” 

“As in! Did we have sex!?” Oikawa snapped. It was lucky that they were the only ones in the lecture theatre. That could have caused some massive misunderstanding otherwise. Kuroo’s eyes widened as he looked at Oikawa. Oikawa’s eyes grew wide at his own comment as well before he looked away, “Ignore what I said.” 

“You thought we had sex?” Kuroo said before he burst out laughing. “Shut up!” Oikawa punched Kuroo’s arm as his face grew red once more. All the dots connected for Kuroo now as he just laughed even harder. “I said, shut up!” Oikawa said exasperatedly as he burrowed his face into his palms. Kuroo placed his hand onto Oikawa’s head before ruffling his hair. 

_’What the hell, that was hella cute.’ _ Kuroo couldn’t help but smile to himself after the laughter subsided. 

“Get off,” Oikawa swatted Kuroo’s hand away from his head as he grabbed his belongings, “I’m going home.” Kuroo draped his arm around Oikawa’s shoulder as he grinned, this was the perfect opportunity to tease Oikawa and he wasn’t going to miss out on it. “So that was going through that little head of yours? What you thought happened that night?” Kuroo smirked as Oikawa chose not to reply. However, the atmosphere was no longer as tense between them. It was almost safe to say that it had returned to how it was a week ago. “Was I the dominant–“ Kuroo was about to continue when Oikawa sent a flying kick against Kuroo’s butt, which effectively shut the black-haired male up. 

They were currently walking side by side towards the subway station when Oikawa broke the now-comfortable silence between them, “Did I say anything that night?” 

Kuroo shrugged, “Maybe.” Oikawa frowned, “How much did I say?” 

“One sentence,” Kuroo nodded as if he was confirming with himself, “Repeatedly.” “I sure hope that line was ‘I hate you’,” Oikawa scowled. Kuroo shrugged again, “Maybe.” 

“You are being a tad more annoying than usual, Mr. Know-It-All.” 

Kuroo grinned, “That’s my hobby.” “I mentioned Iwa-chan, didn’t I?” Oikawa peeked at Kuroo’s face cautiously. If it wasn’t anything about Iwaizumi, that would have been the best timing to shut up instead of revealing too much. “If you say ‘maybe’ once more, I will seriously be pissed,” Oikawa added on. “Yeah, you did. But it’s okay, I wouldn’t treat you differently so don’t worry. In fact, your entire love life has nothing to do with me,” Kuroo stated bluntly, “I’m not trying to sound as if I don’t care but, I’m not the best person you should confide in when it comes to relationship. Maybe that little friend of yours would be able to help.” Oikawa seemed a little curious what made the black-haired male say that, but at the same time, he was relieved that his sexuality wasn’t going to change the dynamics of their relationship. Homosexuality still wasn’t something widely accepted in the society; hence he was thankful Kuroo wasn’t going to reject him in any way, especially with how he was comfortable around Kuroo. “Right, thanks.” was all Oikawa could say. He wasn’t going to admit it but, ever since that night, the amount of time he spent thinking about Iwaizumi was significantly shorter than he expected. To be more exact, this man beside him filled his mind most of the time. However, he convinced himself that it was because of that misunderstanding that occupied his mind, and nothing else. 

“But,” Kuroo placed his big hand onto Oikawa’s head, “if you ever need someone to talk to, I’m here. I might not be able to give you clear advice on what you should be doing, but it’d be better than bottling up your feelings,” Kuroo’s grip then tighten as he pushed Oikawa’s head left and right, “and then come crying to me and throwing up everywhere.” 

Oikawa scowled jokingly before smiling. He knew that that was Kuroo’s way of being considerate. 

“You smiled.” 

Oikawa didn’t know why, it could have been the beautiful sunset behind them that made Kuroo look all handsome and warm, but at that moment, he felt a little tug in his heart when he saw Kuroo smiling back at him. Kuroo seemed to search Oikawa’s eyes for a response but seeing that the conversation has ended, he faced the front once more, his smile still present. The pair fell into silence again as they simply enjoyed one another’s presence back home. 

For the next few weeks, the duration the pair hung out seemed to be increasing. For one, Oikawa had started attending the volleyball practices on Mondays and Wednesdays as well. Kuroo figured that it would be better if Oikawa could get on the court with the others from time to time rather than just the two of them. Oikawa could clock a few minutes each practice despite being on the bench most of the time. There was no way he would be able to be in the regular roster in such a short period and he knew that so he wasn’t majorly disappointed either. It did make him feel better instead. Watching the rest play made him even more motivated to get back on track, especially seeing how Kuroo moved about around the court with ease and pure enjoyment. He found himself wishing that he would be able to do that in the near future, and, even better with Kuroo by his side when he does. Another reason for the increased duration was that they have been hanging out outside of practices as well, such as Kuroo cooking for his house and having dinner/supper together before seeing Oikawa off at his. Oikawa had complained that he wasn’t a girl and could perfectly defend himself even at 1am, but Kuroo insisted that he had a habit of walking about after a meal and it was pure convenient that Kuroo can accomplish that by walking Oikawa home from his own house. This all started when Kuroo pointed out that Oikawa should stop settling his meals from the convenience store. It wasn’t a healthy diet and for a sportsperson, he should be more mindful of what he was consuming on a daily basis. Kuroo then struck a deal that he would cook dinner for Oikawa on every practice day if Oikawa promised to be the club’s photographer. That is, Oikawa would have to turn up for every event involving volleyball club, capturing those precious moments. It wasn’t something hard to accomplish since Oikawa personally love photography, but he was aware that Kuroo was just saying it casually, knowing that he wouldn’t accept the offer if there wasn’t anything in exchange. 

“What are you doing?” Kuroo asked, walking over with two cups of water in his hand, placing one before Oikawa, on the table. Currently, they were over at Kuroo’s house on a Thursday night, after finishing a hearty meal prepared by Kuroo. “Nothing much,” Oikawa said as he browsed through the book he was currently holding while sitting on the floor, leaning against the couch. “Is that a culinary book?” Kuroo reached out for the book, taking it away from Oikawa’s hand as he sat on the couch. “I just thought it’s unfair that you are always the one cooking. Maybe I could cook a dish or two someday, now give it back,” Oikawa extended his hand, gesturing for the book as he spoke. “No way. What are you going to do if you cut your hands or scald it? No way, I will do the cooking. We agreed on this.” Kuroo frowned as he refused to return the book. 

“What if I’m talented in cooking? 

“You’ll never know.” 

“That’s right, so let me try and I will know it.” 

“It can remain unknown." 

“It’s a survival skill.” 

“You don’t need that when I’m here.” 

“What about when you aren’t here? I would need to cook for myself. You said so too, didn’t you? It’s unhealthy for me to be feeding on those bento sets from the convenience store, so I should learn how to survive on my own without it and for that to happen, I would need to learn how to cook, so return me the book!” 

“Then I’ll just be beside you forever,” Kuroo blurted. 

Kuroo’s voice resonated in the silent room as their eyes met. They kept quiet for a good 10 seconds before Oikawa broke the shared-gaze. “T-There you go again, saying those things so casually.” Oikawa gave an awkward laugh as he stood up, “I’m going home.” 

"I’ll walk you,” Kuroo said as he stood up as well. “It’s fine for today. It’s still early, I’ll make it home fine. Really.” Oikawa grabbed his bag before heading towards the door, “Thanks for the meal.” was his last words before he disappeared outside. 

Kuroo placed his hand against his chest, where he could feel his heart racing. 

_What was that? _


	4. The Confession

When the next day came about, Kuroo coincidentally saw Oikawa on the subway train. It wasn’t something usual as Oikawa didn’t usually have morning classes on Friday. “Tooru!” Kuroo called out as he squeezed past the crowd to get to the brown male. “Fancy seeing you at this timing,” Kuroo said once he managed to get in front of Oikawa. “Yeah, I really shouldn’t be awake at this hour,” Oikawa scowled before stifling a yawn, “I haven’t been clocking my hours for photography club so I’m just going to head down to get my attendance checked.” Kuroo ruffled Oikawa’s hair with a slightly concerned sigh, “Why don’t you just drop that club? Isn’t it tiring? Volleyball, studies and all.” Oikawa swats Kuroo’s hand away with a slight pout at how Kuroo was messing up his beautiful curls, “I’ll manage, Mr. Know-It-All.”

Kuroo gave a small smile at the usual Oikawa. Here he was, being slightly worried about that absurd line he said the day before, but as long as Oikawa seemed fine, he wasn’t going to probe the issue either. The train rocked a little as it was going some crossing ahead. Kuroo looked around. With the crowd on the train, he wasn’t exactly in the best position and could fall over any time if the train were to jerk. As if he predicted that, the train jerked. He would have had been fine if he was the only one in the carriage, but the crowd swayed with the jerk, some almost falling over, but leaning against a random stranger as their last hope for support.

A man who was positioned behind Kuroo didn’t manage to keep his balance as he stumbled backward, bumping into Kuroo who wasn’t stable, to begin with. “Woah,” was all Kuroo could say as he fell forward too. As an instinct, Kuroo shut his eyes, ready for an impact when he felt a stable hand on his arm. At that secure support, Kuroo’s eyes fluttered open, only to realize that his face was only inches apart from his Oikawa’s. Oikawa was looking up at him with widened eyes, his hand positioned on Kuroo’s right arm. Kuroo’s left arm was pressed against the door that Oikawa was leaning against.

It was as if time stopped for them and that they were the only pair in existence at that moment.

_ ‘…beautiful,’ _ Kuroo thought to himself as his eyes scanned the face just centimeters apart. “Are you okay?” Oikawa broke the silence as he gave Kuroo’s arm a slight force, pushing him away. “Ah, yeah, thanks, I owe you one,” Kuroo said quickly, giving an awkward cough as he backed up. Even though he probably looked normal on the surface, Kuroo’s heart was thumping at a speed faster than Usain Bolt.

It wasn’t like a subtle sign. It’s wasn’t like Kuroo was some middle school kid who was ignorant of the world. It wasn’t like he hadn’t been through this before.

He knew exactly what this was.

For the first time in 4 years.

_He fell in love._

It only took him that one moment to realize his feelings. What now? Kuroo’s arm was still pressed against the door, inches beside where Oikawa’s head was. Oikawa didn’t seem to mind the proximity as he kept his gaze fixated on what was outside. “Oi Tooru,” Kuroo started up, hoping that his face was normal even after that realization. “Hmm?” came an indifferent reply as the shorter male’s attention didn’t waver. “How are you and Iwaizumi coming along?”

That seems to successfully divert Oikawa’s attention as he tore his gaze off the door, looking at Kuroo. “What do you mean _ how _?” Oikawa questioned, his facial expression showing that he was confused at the sudden question, but at the same time, feeling a little cautious of what he should be disclosing. Even after getting considerably closer, they still didn’t talk about relationships much. Even if they did, it was about friendships more than romantic relationships. “Like,” Kuroo tried to find the proper word to phrase the question before he shrugged, “Never mind, forget I asked.”

Oikawa shifted uncomfortably before looking out of the door once more, “We are still best friends I supposed. Nothing would probably change that.” _‘So he understood the question,’_ Kuroo nodded to himself at the answer. It wasn’t the exact answer he was seeking, but he didn’t know what he was expecting either. Oikawa suddenly spun around, looking as if he just remembered something, “About Iwa-chan. Right. Now that you mentioned him.”

“What about him?”

“He said he’s coming over next Thursday. He’s having his term break so he thought he would come over to Tokyo to check it out. And because of that,” Oikawa clapped his hands together apologetically, “I don’t think we can have our training together that day.”

Kuroo could feel his heart tingling a little, _'Him over volleyball?'_ That was what Kuroo thought was making his heart tingle, but it was probably more of _‘Him over me?’_ “Sure, I guess. Have fun yeah?” Kuroo said absentmindedly as they got off at their designated stop together.

“Can I–“

“No, you can’t,” Oikawa replied promptly. “You didn’t even let me finish my question,” Kuroo scowled. “I haven’t seen Iwa-chan in a long while, this is the best time for us to catch up while being physically present for one another. I’m not going to let you sit in while we hang out,” Oikawa returned an equally ugly scowl, receiving a loud sigh from the other party. “How long is he going to be around for?” Kuroo asked.

_ _“Over the weekends.”_ _

_ _Silence._ _

“How about dinner on Thursday? Are we still going to eat together? I don’t mind him joining us,” Kuroo added on. Oikawa gave Kuroo a look before sighing, “Can’t you just let me go for a day or two? I would probably be eating out with Iwa-chan or something. You can’t expect to let someone enjoy their vacation by eating at my apartment, right?”

Kuroo was about to rebut on that when Oikawa shook his head, “Even if we had to eat at home, Iwa-chan can cook just fine so don’t worry about my meal that day.” Kuroo could feel a frown forming on his face as he questioned, “Iwaizumi knows how to cook?” Oikawa returned a _ 'duh' _ look, “Iwa-chan can do anything. He’s like, perfect. Now would you mind? I’m leaving.”

With that, Oikawa headed off to another school building where his club was at. Kuroo, on the other hand, had to turn up for his respective lectures for the day.

_ ‘Perfect guy huh…’ _

It was as if it was all perfectly planned but out of any other weeks, the volleyball club was going to have a passing down ceremony, whereby the third years would officially ‘retire’ from their respective posts, on Thursday. It was something rather major as that would be where the next batch of committees are announced. After knowing about it during the Wednesday training, Kuroo pulled Oikawa to one side once the training was over. “You are coming tomorrow right?” Kuroo asked while wiping off his sweat with a white face towel. “What for?” Oikawa frowned while doing the same thing. “To take pictures of course. It’s considered an important event for us.” Kuroo’s brows furrowed. It was Oikawa’s turn to scowl, “You know that I already have prior engagements tomorrow.”

“You promised me that you would be the photographer for all events involving volleyball.”

“Any other days but not tomorrow. I’m fully booked for tomorrow.”

“What now? Are you breaking a promise as if it’s nothing?”

“Why are you making this such a big deal?”

“Why can’t you just get your little friend to wait?”

“Little friend?”

“Photographing for us was a price we agreed on in exchange for the cooked meals.”

“You were the one who stroked that deal.”

“You were the one who agreed after.”

“Did I ask you to cook for me!?”

They weren’t exactly aware of it themselves, but their voices were rising gradually. There were still a few people remaining in the gym, packing up after training. They could hear the pair arguing even though the content wasn’t distinct enough to be deciphered. Nevertheless, the tones of their voices were saying a lot. “Should we stop them?” one of them asked as the rest just shook their heads. By now, they knew how close the pair was, and it was probably not their position to say anything or be involved in any way.

“I’m tired of talking. This conversation is over,” Oikawa ended as he turned around, all ready to leave. Kuroo grabbed the leaving wrist firmly, “We are having dinner together, remember?” “Leave it. I have no appetite.” Oikawa muttered a response. “What are you trying to play at?” Kuroo asked, getting seriously annoyed at the attitude the other was showing. “What are you trying to play at?” Oikawa snapped, shaking Kuroo’s wrist off, to no avail, “Ever since you knew about Iwa-chan coming, you just got super clingy. What are you? Possessive asshole.”

Kuroo’s eyes narrowed. It was at that instance where Oikawa probably realized, he was getting a little overboard, but he couldn’t stop his mouth from running, “You have been cooking so many dishes each day I can barely finish them. I don’t know why you are doing it but I’m tired of being your lab rat for those new dishes you were making. Some of the dishes you make weren’t even that nice but you forced me to eat it anyway. I don’t even like natto but there you are, coming over to my house, cooking all sorts of dishes with that as the main ingredient. I just didn’t want to tell you because it looked like you were really into cooking it. Anyone who’ve seen you would have thought that you got yourself enrolled in some cooking competition by mistake.” Oikawa was slightly out of breath after that long chunk of words. _’No, that wasn’t what I was intending to say.’_ However, it was too late to take his words back. Kuroo dropped Oikawa’s wrist dejectedly before rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly. “I–“ Oikawa was about to explain himself when Kuroo let out a laugh.

“Right, my bad. It’s my fault yeah? I only considered the joy in cooking; I had forgotten about the one on the other end.”

“Bullshit,” Oikawa spat as he grabbed Kuroo’s hand, pulling it upwards to Kuroo’s eye level, “You prevented me from cooking to protect my hands, how about you!? What are all these bandages for!?”

Kuroo pulled his hand away forcibly. This conversation was going way off track from their initial intentions. “I’ll just find someone else for tomorrow.” was all Kuroo said before he left Oikawa all alone in the gym. _'I didn’t mean what I said…'_ was what surfaced in Oikawa’s mind when he was left alone to think his words through. There was no way Kuroo would have known what Oikawa didn’t like, just like how he doesn’t know what Kuroo dislikes. It was just so nice that both of them liked the same type of food so they didn’t have a chance to discuss what they didn’t like. Even a blind would be able to see Kuroo’s countless effort each time he cooks. Kuroo’s cooking skills were definitely above average, but it wasn’t his forte. Even that culinary book that Oikawa was reading before, was from Kuroo’s collection of culinary books. They had this brief conversation about Kuroo’s family background before. Kuroo only started cooking because his parents were always busy working their asses off to care about him. That was his way of surviving independently and hence he picked up cooking. It wasn’t as if it was his hobby to cook. Oikawa never mentioned this but he had long suspected that Kuroo too, was settling his meals at the convenience store every night, in which he only started cooking for the sake of Oikawa. It was a self-centered thought but there wasn’t any other explanation why Kuroo would be at the convenience store every night just like him. Kuroo too, was probably, feeling lonely from eating dinner by himself all the time, until Oikawa entered the picture. If there was a proper way to describe their relationship, it’d be two lonely animals licking one another’s wounds.

“Damn it. I said too much this time,” Oikawa messed up his hair, regretting fully what he said a few minutes ago. To make matter worst, thinking about it now, Kuroo was always compromising him. Even when Oikawa was in a sour mood, Kuroo would be exceptionally understanding, never adding onto the frustration once. Whenever they were together, Oikawa would always feel happy at the end of the day regardless of what he was feeling hours before. '_I should apologize to him.’_ Oikawa frowned as he tried dialing Kuroo’s number. He was sent immediately to voice mail as that just made him even more guilty. Why was his phone switched off at this timing? 

Oikawa didn’t manage to catch up with Kuroo at the subway station either, and eventually, Oikawa found himself outside of Kuroo’s apartment’s door. He hesitated a little about meeting Kuroo now, but since he was already here, he might as well do it. He was about to knock the door when the door swung outwards. It happened so suddenly; he didn’t have the time to react as the door bumped into him with quite an impact. “Oh my gosh, I’m so sorry!”

Oikawa rubbed his nose which came into contact with the door a little too roughly earlier on. 'A girl?’ Oikawa looked at the female figure standing before him. _'What’s a girl coming out Mr. Know-It-All’s house at this hour?’ _

“Are you okay? That must have hurt!” the female before him added on, panicking a little seeing how Oikawa wasn’t reacting to her. “Who’s that?” came Kuroo’s voice as he walked towards the entranceway. He was already in his casual outfit – oversized white tee shirt alongside with black track pants. His hair was wet too. He paused in his tracks when he realized who was greeting him on the other side of the door. Oikawa didn’t know why, but when Kuroo appeared, the only thing that crossed his mind was to turn and walk away.

“Oi, Tooru!” Kuroo called out quickly as he ran after Oikawa. “It’s not what it looks like. That was just my ex-girlfriend. She left something behind previously. Months ago. She already moved on. She’s just here to take what’s hers.” Kuroo hurriedly explained while following the footsteps of Oikawa. “Why are you even explaining to me? That’s none of my concern. You can call ten thousand girls to your house at night and it would still not be any of my business,” Oikawa said, without stopping. _'Damn it, I was here to apologize but he’s already fine. Fine enough to be fooling around with some girls on a weekday night.’ _He doesn’t even know why he’s getting annoyed, but he sure was. “I just don’t like the idea that you might have misunderstood me,” Kuroo added on. “And why would that bother you? It’s completely fine for guys our age to relieve pent up sexual frustration. Is it because I don’t swing that way?” Oikawa said.

“No. I didn’t get any girls to have sex with. And I’m not trying to explain myself because you are gay.”

“Then why the hell do you care? Are you pitying me because I’m meeting Iwa-chan tomorrow? While I’m over here suffering, he’s enjoying his time with his girlfriend. Is that why you are being so clingy? So that I would forget about that? So–“ Oikawa’s words were cut short as he felt himself being pushed against the wall along the street they were on. Once he felt his back coming into contact with the wall, his lips were immediately occupied. Oikawa’s eyes widened as he pushed Kuroo away forcefully, “What was that!?”

“I like you.”

It wasn’t a loud confession, but loud enough for both of them to hear it. Kuroo’s head was down so Oikawa couldn’t capture his facial expression at that time. “What?” Oikawa said while wiping his lips with the back of his hand. “I’m doing all these because I like you. Pity? To hell with that. I’m more than thankful that Iwaizumi has a girlfriend. This way, you would learn to move on.”

Kuroo’s voice was low and calm as he spoke. Oikawa, on the other hand, was getting agitated. Before he knew it, it was too late. Oikawa had already landed a punch on Kuroo’s cheek. Kuroo staggered sideways a little but didn’t look at Oikawa even after the impact. “Now we really can’t go back to how we were before.” Oikawa snapped before running off into the distance.

A sleepless night greeted both of them that day.

“Shittykawa? Shittykawa!”

Oikawa snapped out of his daydream as he looked at Iwaizumi, who was currently sitting opposite him, in his favorite café. “Ah. Sorry,” Oikawa gave a small smile. “You look really tired, is the university life here that tough?” a female voice asked. Oikawa just shook his head, his smile still plastered on his face, “Just me.” Iwaizumi wasn’t alone. Sitting beside him was, Oikawa must admit, a super gorgeous lady. She probably had a golden ratio or some sort, but she was really attractive, with a nice, long brown hair to top of her beauty. That was Iwaizumi’s girlfriend, Sakura. “Anyway, where’s Nekoma’s captain?” Iwaizumi asked. Oikawa was slightly thankful Iwaizumi didn’t just throw out Kuroo’s name. “The club had passing-down event today, so, he had to be there,” Oikawa replied.

“Ah, I wanted to see him.”

“What for?”

“To thank him of course.”

“Whatever for?”

“For getting my best friend on the court once more.”

Oikawa stopped drinking his cup of white chocolate Frappuccino as he placed the cup back onto the table, “There’s no need to thank him. I chose this myself. It has nothing to do with him.” Iwaizumi raised an eyebrow, “Did something happen? This wasn’t how I imagined you to be when you tell me about him over the messages.”

“…Actually, I have to go. I promised him I’d be there at the event today. You two have fun, I prepared this itinerary for the day. Everything that requires booking has already been done under your name.” Oikawa said while standing up hurriedly. “How considerate,” Iwaizumi smiled at the detailed itinerary. “Mr. Know-It-All did it,” Oikawa said simply before leaving the café in big strides. Checking for the time on his watch, he did a mental calculation of how long he would need to reach the school gym. _'I can probably get there in time if I took a cab.’_ Oikawa thought to himself while already flagging down an oncoming cab. 

After settling down in the cab, he had some time to collect his thoughts. What was he going to do once he’s there? Can he just take some pictures and leave? Or should he be talking it out with Kuroo? How would Kuroo react in regards to his unexpected presence? What if he got mad? Or by any chance, would Kuroo act as if nothing happened the day before?

By the time he reached the school gym, the event was already ongoing. “So, the new captain, for the volleyball club, would be Kuroo Tetsurou.” the current captain announced as everyone clapped. Oikawa managed to sneak in on the second floor as he got himself a seat at the bleachers before taking out the camera he always carried around. Focusing on the club members sitting in the middle of the gym, he managed to get a few good pictures. Kuroo stood up from where he was sitting as he walked up to the front of the rest. He took a good scan at the team before he gave a 90-degree bow, “Please take care of me.”

Oikawa managed to catch that moment on his camera as well when he noticed Kuroo’s body swaying through his lens. Thinking that he might have mistaken that, he lowered his camera to take a look at Kuroo. It was at that instance that Kuroo’s legs just seem to give way as he fell over with a thud. Oikawa leaped up from his seat. _'What was that!?’ _

The rest of the team present was already crowding around Kuroo out of concern while the coach was asking them to back away to give Kuroo some air. Oikawa carried his legs as fast as he could to where the commotion was situated at. “What happened!?” Oikawa asked as he knelt beside Kuroo’s body. Oikawa placed his hand on Kuroo’s forehead before touching his cheeks, and then his neck. _’You idiot. What do you think you are doing out here with this burning body?’ _

Oikawa heard someone mentioning something along the lines of calling an ambulance. Sure enough, shortly after, they could hear the sirens in the distance. When the ambulance arrived, paramedics came out with a stretcher in their hand as they carried Kuroo away. Oikawa traced behind the paramedics as one of them turned towards him, telling him that he couldn’t follow any further.

After what seems like hours but in reality, just a little over an hour, Kuroo opened his eyes slowly, only to be greeted by the hospital ceiling. He looked down at the back of his hand. He was connected to an IV drip at the moment, with the tube visibly attached to him. Beside his hand, however, was Oikawa’s head resting on the edge of the bed uncomfortably while he remains on the chair the hospital provided.

_'What happened… How long was I out for…?’ _

Kuroo sat up slowly as he tried to register his surroundings. Perhaps his movements weren’t exactly the softest but the rustling woke Oikawa up. When Oikawa realized Kuroo was conscious, his eyes widened and sat up quickly. “Are you okay? Feeling any better? Do I have to call the nurse? Are you in pain?” Oikawa fired his questions away as Kuroo shook his head, “I’m fine. What happened?” He was still feeling a little dizzy but he wasn’t going to show it to Oikawa. It was already pathetic enough he was seen in this state. “You fainted, idiot!” Oikawa scolded. Even though his words weren’t kind, his gestures were. Oikawa had reached out for Kuroo’s forehead once more to feel his current temperature. Kuroo kept his gaze fixated on Oikawa as Oikawa got closer to him to check his situation. “Sorry,” Kuroo said in his low voice. Oikawa frowned, “There’s nothing to apologize for, it's not like you wanted to be sick.”

“For yesterday, I mean,” Kuroo raised his hand to hold Oikawa’s wrist before lowering it, away from his forehead. Oikawa flinched at Kuroo’s words, “Ah, right, yesterday.” “Did you come here, forgetting about yesterday… How mean,” Kuroo gave a bitter smile, releasing his grip. “Sorry,” Oikawa replied, avoiding making eye contact with Kuroo. “Don’t apologize. That just makes my words even more valid,” Kuroo sigh, leaning back against the pillow that Oikawa had probed up for him earlier. “About that,” Oikawa started, fiddling with his fingers, “I’m thankful for your feelings but I don’t see you–“

Kuroo waved it off, “At least take some time to think about it, okay?” “But I–“ Oikawa was cut off once more with Kuroo’s voice, “Never mind about that, why are you here? What about Iwaizumi?” Oikawa scowled, “Thanks to somebody, I had to cut short the session.” Whilst saying that, Oikawa showed Kuroo his camera. Kuroo looked through the shots, “And I thought someone said they were fully booked.” “I just didn’t want you to think that I’m a man who can’t hold promises,” Oikawa pouted before sighing, “And I’m sorry too. About yesterday. I didn’t mean to put it that way.”

“No natto next time, right?” Kuroo smiled. Oikawa blinked at the response before smiling softly, “Yeah. And yuba.” “You don’t like yuba? Who doesn’t like yuba?” Kuroo whined. However, they were both smiling right now, and they were contented with that.

“So, where’s Iwaizumi now?” Kuroo asked even though he would have known since he planned the itinerary, but he was just trying to enjoy the fact that Oikawa was with him right now, instead of otherwise. Oikawa checked his watch before scowling, “Please rub that smug look off your face. He should be at the aquarium right now.”

“Alone?”

“Nah. With his girl.”

“Oh.”

Oikawa looked at Kuroo momentarily before he stood up and gave Kuroo continuous but light punches on his arm, “Stop! Smiling! Are you feeding off my misery?” Kuroo laughed and shook his head before holding onto both of Oikawa’s hands, “I saved you, didn’t I?” Oikawa scowled jokingly before laughing, “You’re so annoying.”

_ _“__I know.”

Oikawa wasn’t going to admit it, but right now, he felt way better than he expected. Originally, he thought it’d be absolute torture to see his first love all lovey-dovey for the whole day. Maybe Kuroo did save him after all. At that moment, the ward’s door opened as the pair diverted their attention to whoever that was going to enter through the door.

“Iwa-chan? What are you doing here?” Oikawa said as he pulled both his hands away from Kuroo quickly. Kuroo felt the instant emptiness through his hands as he clasped both into fists, letting it drop to his sides. “We just thought we should pay a visit, knowing that your friend is hospitalized,” Sakura said, stepping out from the shadow of Iwaizumi. Compared to Iwaizumi, she was relatively shorter so she wasn’t seen when Iwaizumi first entered. Kuroo glanced at Oikawa before he smiled towards the couple, “Thanks for the concern but I can get out of the hospital in a few minutes so there wasn’t any need for you two to trouble yourself to come. You must be Sakura-san?”

Sakura bowed politely before smiling. “You’re pretty,” Kuroo laughed as Oikawa rolled his eyes, “Don’t mind him, Iwa-chan.” “Why not? Someone’s complementing my girl, I’m lucky,” Iwaizumi said while pulling Sakura closer to him. “R-Right,” Oikawa forced a smile. At that moment, he felt a hand wrapped around his, giving it a gentle squeeze. He looked towards Kuroo who was already in a conversation with the couple without looking at him. However, that reassuring squeeze was sufficient for Oikawa to calm down.

“I should go and check with the nurse when you can be discharged,” Oikawa said, returning the squeeze to indicate that he was fine now. Kuroo nodded, releasing his hand before continuing with his conversation with Iwaizumi and his girlfriend. Once Oikawa left, Sakura excused herself to the ladies, leaving two men in the ward.

“Thank you for getting Shittykawa back on two feet once more,” Iwaizumi smiled while leaning against the wall where the door was. “It’s none of your business though, right?” Kuroo said, his words sounded harsher than he intended to convey. Iwaizumi paused, looking slightly shocked at the cold response, “He’s my friend so…”

“Right,” Kuroo muttered. He didn’t want to sound childish, getting all hostile with someone he just met, but he couldn’t help it. This was the _‘perfect’_ man Oikawa loved for years, it was frustrating. “Tooru was really looking forward to meeting you, he pushed me away, insisting that I couldn’t interrupt you two, but you brought your girlfriend all the way here huh,” Kuroo spoke bluntly, however, he wasn’t intending to wait for a response from Iwaizumi regarding this matter. “Is Sakura-san from Tokyo?” Kuroo asked, diverting the topic before it gets tense between them. “Ah, yes, but she moved to Miyagi when she was young,” Iwaizumi explained, “Why did you ask that?”

“Nothing.” Kuroo shrugged. Call it a man’s instinct, but at that moment, Iwaizumi felt a bad omen in the super near future.

_ ‘Sakura huh?’ _


	5. The Separation

After Iwaizumi and Sakura headed back to Miyagi on Monday, everything felt as if it had reverted to normal. Except for one thing.

_Bzz. Bzz. Tap tap tap. Bzz. Bzz._

It has been weeks since the couple had gone back, and currently, Oikawa was over at Kuroo’s house on a Thursday night after their private training. Kuroo was cooking dinner as usual whilst Oikawa waited idly, reading some book regarding photography and fumbling with his DSLR camera from time to time. Everything felt like the usual, except Kuroo’s phone was being exceptionally noisy the whole time.

Oikawa would have been fine if it was only vibrating so continuously for a day, but it has been ongoing for the weeks or even months. He could see Kuroo cooking, pausing to respond to the text, cooking, pausing once again. After the umpteenth time of notification, Oikawa dropped his book to his side and stood up in frustration, “Can’t you just focus on cooking and stop replying for a moment?” Kuroo was still punching out a respond when Oikawa’s outburst stopped him. He looked at the brown-haired male with a slightly astonished look on his face. “It has been vibrating for the whole day. No. The whole week. Who is that on the phone even? Bzz bzz? I’m getting a headache with all those vibrations.” Oikawa scowled, walking over to where Kuroo was. He was about to snatch the phone out of Kuroo’s hand when Kuroo held it above his head. “Whoa whoa, hold it. Should I just on the ringer then?” Kuroo asked, making sure Oikawa couldn’t grab the phone. Height advantages.

“That would be even more annoying!” Oikawa scowled even harder at the foul play as he gave up after a few jumps, knowing that he wouldn’t be able to get the phone with his relatively shorter arms. However, just as Kuroo thought Oikawa had fully given up, Oikawa seized the chance at the lowered arm to grab his phone. It took Kuroo by surprise as he moved back instinctively. Oikawa didn’t intend to pounce on Kuroo but it happened that way after Kuroo’s sudden backward movement. Their bodies collided as Kuroo fell over with Oikawa. Kuroo felt his back hitting the counter with a loud thud before Oikawa fell into his arms, sitting on both of his thighs. Kuroo would savor the moment if it wasn’t for the pot that he had placed off-balance, to respond to the text, earlier on. The pot, carrying boiling curry, came toppling over at the impact. “Watch out!” Kuroo yelled as he hugged Oikawa tightly to himself, positioning his body above Oikawa’s as the pot landed on him.

“Kuro-chan!” Oikawa quickly pulled away after the pot did its magnificent landing. Oikawa fumbled about in panic as Kuroo just took off his tee-shirt, revealing the red patch that was slowly forming on his shoulder. “Are you okay?” Kuroo asked, looking at Oikawa who was already standing up. “That’s why elders always say to not play in the kitchen. And what did you do?” Kuroo sigh, standing up as well. “Go and wash your back with some cold water, I’ll get ice for you,” Oikawa said once he recollected his thoughts. Kuroo simply nodded as he made his way to the bathroom. Oikawa headed straight for the fridge, grabbing the ice pack Kuroo had stored away. However, before Oikawa rushed over to where Kuroo was, Kuroo’s phone vibrated once more. Oikawa couldn’t help but let his gaze fall onto the phone screen.

【Next week would be good. See you then!】

_‘…Sakura?’_

Oikawa shook his head. This wasn’t the time to be dwelling over some messages. With that said though, he couldn’t help but think about it. How did Sakura get Kuroo’s number? How did they become texting buddies when they only met one out of the four days she was here?

“I thought you were a smart person, how can you let that happen?” Oikawa muttered as he slapped a bandage over the scald area. “I would have been the dumb one if I just watch you getting hot curry splattered on you,” Kuroo mumbled, muttering a small thanks as he wore a new top over. Oikawa didn’t respond as he proceeded to put the first aid kit back at where it came from. 

“Are you…going out next week?” Oikawa asked, in the most casual manner as he could. Kuroo seemed to pause in his movement before the pair headed over to the mess they made earlier on. “Maybe. I’m not sure. My friend might be coming over to Tokyo,” Kuroo said whilst squatting down and cleaning up the spilled curry. “Let’s order takeout online for tonight,” Kuroo then continued as his hands didn’t stop moving. “Friend?” Oikawa tried probing the matter a little further as he continued his casual demeanor while dialing a pizza delivery hotline on his mobile. “Yeah,” Kuroo replied, just as casually. However, he probably wasn’t pretending to be. “Do I know them?” Oikawa asked before holding up his phone against his ear, engaging in another conversation with the speaker on the other end. Kuroo took that as a sign of their conversation ending but Oikawa jumped right back on the same topic after the call ended.

“So? Do I know them?”

“Nah,” Kuroo spoke as he stood up with the pot, now filled with curry once more. He poured the content away before cleaning up the remaining mess and utensils. “What a waste of food,” Kuroo sighed. Oikawa held his doubts but didn’t question it. Trust is important for any relationship to sustain. Right. Trust.

Trust.

Trust.

That was what Oikawa had said but here he is, in a not-so-fabulous disguise – a black cap, black sunglasses, black mask, and black hoodie. _‘No one will know it’s me,’ _Oikawa thought to himself, clearly satisfied with his efforts. Right now, he was at this café that he has never been to. He followed Kuroo ever since their Friday classes ended. He didn’t know where he was going to end up at but he was genuinely curious who Kuroo was meeting up after being all secretive about the messages. Was Sakura really _that_ Sakura?

Oikawa got himself a seat several tables away from where Kuroo was at. Kuroo was just scrolling through his phone as the chair opposite him remained empty. Not for long though. Soon, a lady stepped up to the table as Kuroo looked up from his phone. Whoever that just entered was wearing a fisherman hat so Oikawa couldn’t tell who she was. There was something he could be sure of though – that lady has brown hair. Oikawa squinted but his sunglasses was just making things harder than it already was. At that moment, the lady took off her hat after she settled down.

It was _that_ Sakura.

Oikawa had to fight every cell within him to resist the urge to just march up and ask them to explain the situation. Despite his curiosity about the situation, he was more interested in _why_ they met up. He was too far to hear any of their conversations but was close enough to be able to capture some nonverbal communication they were sharing between them. The atmosphere between them seemed to be that of, ranging from calm to sadness. They weren’t laughing or smiling even. Oikawa was about to be convinced that perhaps Sakura was just meeting Kuroo to know more about Tokyo when he saw Kuroo reaching out his hand to rest it on Sakura’s hand on the table.

Oikawa’s mind seemed to blank out at that exact moment. What was going on?

After the pair’s hands came into contact, Kuroo stood up, leading Sakura out of the café as Sakura wore her hat once more with her free hand. At the sight of that, Oikawa couldn’t just stay put. He stood up quickly as well, following behind the pair rather closely.

He watched the pair turn into an alley as he increased his pace. Reaching the alley, he peeked in as his eyes widened at the sight that greeted him. Sakura was crying. And Kuroo? He was wiping Sakura’s tears away from her cheek gently with his right thumb. Oikawa watched the scene unfold before him with utter disbelief as Kuroo raised his left hand, cupping Sakura’s cheek before leaning down for a kiss.

Their lips were about to come into contact when Oikawa shoved Kuroo away forcefully. Kuroo’s back slammed against the hard wall of the alley as their eyes met. “What–” Oikawa panted in anger, trying to form proper sentences despite his emotions. “What are you? Her! You! Together?” Sakura gasped at the violence before rushing over to Kuroo’s side, “Are you okay?” “How could you do that!?” Oikawa snapped. Kuroo gave Sakura a hand gesture, indicating that he was okay before he straightened himself, “What do you mean how?” As Kuroo spoke, his hand had already reached out for Sakura’s as he pulled her behind him. Oikawa felt his heart tighten at that side, but it was difficult to identify what was the source of this physiological reaction. “She’s Iwa-chan’s girlfriend!” Oikawa was getting angrier as the minutes ticked by. “Was,” Kuroo corrected with firmness. That seemed to change Oikawa’s mood a little as he tried to register the new information. “Was?” Oikawa managed a response. Sakura wasn’t saying anything as her gaze averted Oikawa’s. Her grip on Kuroo’s also tightened slightly at the confrontation. “Yeah. They’re over,” Kuroo said simply.

“When? Iwa-chan didn’t tell me anything.”

“Last week? I lost track. That’s not something for me to remember anyway.”

“So, what now? Are you two going out?”

“As you can see,” Kuroo stated, showing Oikawa their joined hands. “And, when was this?” Oikawa choked out a little. He was so pissed he felt like crying. What was happening between the three of them? Why was he left out of all these? And… Wasn’t Kuroo in love with him? Even though it had been months since Kuroo’s confession and nothing else happened between them after, but still?

“When was it again?” Kuroo questioned, even though it didn’t look like he was expecting any response. “Didn’t… Aren’t you in love with someone else?” Oikawa asked, subconsciously looking away from Kuroo’s gaze. Oikawa heard a cold laugh as his gaze snapped back at Kuroo. Kuroo was laughing, but it wasn’t his usual laugh. It was…more of an icy, mocking tone.

“You can’t possibly expect me to hold onto that love, forever right? Who would be that selfish to wish that I stayed in that unrequited love?”

“Who…are you?” Oikawa asked whilst searching every possible corner of Kuroo’s eyes for an answer. He didn’t sound like the Kuroo he knew. “Also, it’s been almost nine months since we started the volleyball practices. I’ve seen how you played during our club practices. You are fine right now. We no longer need those private training,” Kuroo started, “And also, you don’t have to come to my house to eat anymore.”

Oikawa felt that if he were to accept it right now, everything would really be over. “Was it something I did wrong? Why? We were fine last week. We can continue doing that!” Oikawa said, clearly confused at that sudden change but at the same time, desperate to keep things the same. “Sakura’s moving in, so…” Kuroo trailed off. Kuroo’s expression didn’t falter throughout the whole conversation. It wasn’t as soft as the times when Kuroo spoke to Oikawa. Oikawa doesn’t know this Kuroo.

“Now, won’t you excuse us,” Kuroo said, brushing pass Oikawa, his hand pulling Sakura’s along. “Kuro-chan,” Oikawa turned around, “If you take another step, it’s really over for us. Everything.” It looked as if Kuroo was just going to continue his way, but after he heard Oikawa’s words, he froze on the spot.

“Please stop,” Sakura finally spoke up, “Stop doing this to my boyfriend.”

With that, Sakura tugged Kuroo along as the pair left Oikawa’s sight.

Was this what people call regretting to cherish the moments until it disappears?

The next few days felt utterly empty. For Oikawa at least. They hadn’t spoken for days now. Neither have they met for dinner. Or for hanging out sessions. It was just him. And him alone, settling his meals at the convenience store every night like how he did before he met Kuroo. Even when they both did turn up for practices, Kuroo did not initiate any sort of interaction with Oikawa unless necessary. Once practice’s over, they would separate ways almost immediately as well.

Was this relationship really over?

Oikawa had spent the past few days thinking about what could have had happened. He had texted Iwaizumi about it as well and it came to his knowledge that they had broken up not long ago. To be more exact, Iwaizumi told Oikawa that the two of them had just split up last week. Oikawa was smart enough to connect the dots. Sakura initiated the breakup and got together with Kuroo just hours after. Any sane person would know that two people don’t just get into relationships like that. They must have had other times where their feelings for one another are allowed to develop. When did that happen between Kuroo and Sakura? Oikawa couldn’t figure that out. But with the timeline set out, it would be hard to believe that Sakura wasn’t cheating on Iwaizumi at one point in time.

But, was Kuroo those kinds of guys? Guys who approach taken women. Even though when they first met, he thought Kuroo was the experienced type of playboy, but after all the months together, that impression had taken a 180-degree turn. Oikawa knew what kind of person Kuroo was. Or so he thought.

They were just wrapping up their usual Wednesday training when a guy marched into the gym, landing a punch on the captain. It all happened so fast, no one could react to the punch. “Iwa-chan!?” Oikawa called out before running up to them. Kuroo was on the ground, holding onto his already-swollen cheek as Iwaizumi had balled up his fist, ready to land another blow. “Iwa-chan stop!” Oikawa said, grabbing onto Iwaizuimi’s arm with both hands. He knows how strong Iwaizumi can get when he’s hot-headed, like now. “Explain this,” Iwaizumi demanded, showing Kuroo the screen of his phone, that depicted Kuroo and Sakura kissing at someplace. “That came out nicely, didn’t it?” Kuroo smirked as he stood up, brushing his thighs before he threw a punch across Iwaizumi’s cheek. “Kuro-chan!” Oikawa was practically yelling at this point. The two of them tried to engage in a fight but were forcibly separated by the rest of the club members. Nevertheless, they manage to exchange heavy blows in the process. “What? Feeling unhappy now that you can’t keep your girl to yourself?” Kuroo said, shrugging off the grips of the members as he rubbed his lips with the back of his hand. His lips got cut from the punch earlier on and were bleeding a little. Iwaizumi, too, shed a few tiny drops of blood. “Iwa-chan, you are bleeding,” Oikawa stated out of concern. Kuroo’s brows furrowed before clicking his tongue, “Move on.” 

Oikawa glared at Kuroo before leading Iwaizumi away to their locker room. “Are you okay?” one of the members asked him as Kuroo just nodded before grabbing his bag that had fallen onto the ground earlier on. “See ya’,” Kuroo greeted as if nothing happened as he left the gym. As Oikawa tended to Iwaizumi’s upper lip’s cut, he couldn’t help but look at the image reflected on Iwaizumi’s phone. The angle was in such a way that if one were to look at it rationally, there was a possibility that they didn’t kiss at all, but just looked like they were.

_‘This number…’ _Oikawa raised an eyebrow as he picked up Iwaizumi’s phone from where it was resting, _‘This number seems oddly…familiar?’ _The number wasn’t saved on Iwaizumi’s phone so it couldn’t be Kuroo’s since they had exchanged contacts on that day in the hospital, for some reason. Oikawa fished out his own phone from his pocket before punching in the reflected number.

“…Ara-chan?”

Iwaizumi glanced at Oikawa, “You know that number?”

“He, well, he’s just my university friend,” Oikawa explained before falling into silence, _‘How did Arata get this number? How did he get this picture? Why did he send the picture? What’s going on?’_

“Oi, Shittykawa, can I crash at your place tonight?” Iwaizumi asked. “You came here without anything?” Oikawa asked, fully knowing that he would agree to that no matter what. Iwaizumi sighed, “I got too rash after receiving the picture, I came here without thinking.”

Fortunately, or unfortunately, that Wednesday marked the start of _Todai_’s term break. On one hand, Oikawa could completely avoid this mind-boggling situation with Kuroo as he took off for Miyagi immediately the day after. On the other hand, however, he didn’t get a chance to ask Arata about the message.

Nevertheless, nothing felt better than coming home for Oikawa. Iwaizumi still had classes but whenever he was off school, they’d hang out just like before. They’d play games together, jog together, and Iwaizumi would end the day by cooking for him. Even with all this fun they shared, he couldn’t help but feel that emptiness within him. “Your favorite seafood fried rice,” Iwaizumi announced, setting down a plate of steaming hot rice. “Thanks, Iwa-chan!” Oikawa smiled before digging in. After a few mouthfuls, Oikawa sighed, “It tastes different.”

Iwaizumi, eating himself, raised an eyebrow, “Different? What are you comparing it to?” Oikawa paused. What was he comparing it to? He knew the answer immediately. He was so used to Kuroo’s dishes, anything else felt different. Did Kuroo have more impact on his life than he thought? It has already been a week since the term break started and Oikawa’s thoughts still wandered around Kuroo. Did Kuroo curse him again?

_‘Move on.’_ Kuroo’s words popped up in his head out of nowhere as he looked towards Iwaizumi who was eating quietly, watching whatever program that was showing on the television.

“I like you.”

Iwaizumi’s movement stopped as he looked at Oikawa. He scowled, “I know that, Shittykawa.” “Not as a friend,” Oikawa’s voice was getting softer. He didn’t know why he suddenly dared to confess after being alive for 19 years, but he was gradually losing the courage he had a few seconds before. “I know,” Iwaizumi’s response took Oikawa by surprise.

“You knew?”

“Yeah.”

“When?”

“When we graduated.”

“And you didn’t do anything about it?”

“I wasn’t sure what to do. I couldn’t just straight-up talk to you about it can I?”

“You went ahead and got yourself a girlfriend fully knowing that I liked you? Aren’t you being too selfish–“ Oikawa paused at the sudden realization. That was what Kuroo was talking about it, wasn’t it? He was treating Kuroo the same way he was treated by Iwaizumi. Oikawa and Iwaizumi were apart for a few months now so the feeling of frustration over his one-sided love wasn’t that overbearing. However, he knew how it felt when they were still together. That constant urge to just show their love. The constant dreams of being together, going on dates, holding hands. The constant tears from knowing that some dreams are only meant to be dreams. Oikawa had been through that. He knew how it felt and yet he…

He felt his heart tightened again as he bit onto his lower lip which was trembling slightly.

“I just wasn’t sure…wasn’t sure what to do with _my_ feelings. I thought I was straight. I was pretty sure I am… It just got all blurred when you left for Tokyo,” Iwaizumi ran his fingers through his hair, “I kind of took for granted the moments we shared. I thought we would stay like this forever. If I hadn’t said anything, we would have stayed together forever. When you told me you were going to Tokyo, I thought it was good for me to collect my thoughts. When you took a year off in Tokyo, I was also considering if I should enroll myself into _Todai_ so that we can stay together. Sakura…She just somehow entered my life, and she just really reminded me of you…”

Oikawa blinked a few times. What’s his best friend rambling on about now?

“I thought if I went out with her, maybe I could figure out my sexuality. We had our moments, but it just felt…platonic. I know it’s really selfish and stupid of me to do this but…” Iwaizumi groaned, “I’m really not good at expressing myself. But if you could forgive me for ignoring your feelings so blatantly over the past few years… Won’t you… go out with me?”

If this was two years ago, Oikawa would probably have jumped in joy, hugging Iwaizumi and saying yes. But it was different now. Things have changed for both of them.

“…I liked you.”

“Past-tense huh?”

“Sorry Iwa-chan, I…”

“Then I’ll just have to make it present-tense eh?” Iwaizumi smiled, “Challenge accepted.”

Did Kuroo know this would happen? Was this what Kuroo meant by moving on? Here he thought that Kuroo was hinting how he should just get rejected and move on. Or was Kuroo talking to himself when he said that?


	6. The Truth

2 weeks have passed since Iwaizumi’s sudden confession. 1 week left till the end of term break. 3 weeks since Kuroo and Oikawa met. 6 weeks since Kuroo and Oikawa spoke. 

“Leaving already?” came Iwaizumi’s voice as Oikawa put the last of his outfits into his luggage. The weather was starting to get chilly as they enter the winter season, hence it was perfect for him to come home and change his set of clothes into something warmer. “Mhm,” Oikawa responded. Despite Iwaizumi’s confession, nothing changed between them over the two weeks. They still went out as normal. Even though Iwaizumi did say that he would make Oikawa fall for him all over again, Oikawa seemed to prefer remaining as friends, and he knew exactly why. “When will I see you again?” Iwaizumi asked, zipping up the luggage for him and carrying the two hand-carried that Oikawa had prepared. “I’ll drive you there,” Iwaizumi said as Oikawa simply nodded. It was also discovered that when Oikawa was away, Iwaizumi had gone ahead and got himself a driving license. Once again, Iwaizumi has proved himself as the _perfect_ man that Oikawa once loved. 

In just a few hours, Oikawa was back in Tokyo. He turned down Iwaizumi’s offer to send him home as he knew Iwaizumi had an early class the day after. Nevertheless, it doesn’t mean that he didn’t need any help. Two baggage and one luggage weren’t easy for him to handle alone. He struggled to get off the cab he had flagged down at the train station. After much effort, he finally made it home at 11pm. Unlocking the door to his empty apartment, he trudged his belongings in, his door auto-locking behind him. Just as he was about to crash on his bed, he noticed a spare key on the desk. Oikawa walked over to his desk, picking up the key as he looked at it as if he had never seen it before. Except that, he did. “…this is the key I gave Kuro-chan, isn’t it?” Oikawa frowned before placing it back onto the table, “Is this your final answer?”

During his time in Miyagi, his thoughts were constantly filled with Kuroo. He might have had been dense when dealing with Kuroo’s feelings, but he wasn’t ignorant of his own. He knew what those occupied thoughts meant. Was it too late though? 

He didn’t want to compare his situation with Kuroo, to that with Iwaizumi but, he was just like Iwaizumi. He took their time together for granted. Only when Kuroo backs away, he then realized how much he meant to him. Somehow. He didn’t know why but somehow; he was under the illusion that Kuroo would have loved him forever and that they could stay the way they were. It was difficult to imagine a life without Kuroo. After all, they spent the almost a year being together for hours each day. In these eleven months together, Kuroo had pretty much molded himself into Oikawa’s life, forcibly entering his life, persuading him to get back into volleyball, encouraging his photography hobby, deciding his meals for each day. Just these six weeks without Kuroo was almost deadly. Oikawa doesn’t want to sound like a clingy girlfriend, but. _‘How dare he leave me after making me so dependent on him,’ _Oikawa’s lips trembled as he sat on his bed. Pulling his knees up to his chest, he hugged it to himself tightly. Now that he’s alone in his room, he was getting more emotional at the thought that Kuroo wasn’t there by his side. “Selfish bastard…” he mumbled, as much as he wanted to blame Kuroo for not being there, he knew the selfish one was him. 

When the sun finally decided to show itself the day after, Oikawa grabbed his camera and his usual backpack before heading out. Today was the day he gets to the bottom of the matter, whatever Arata and Kuroo were hiding. Dressed in a thicker black hoodie, he went to the café he and Arata had agreed to meet at. “Ara-chan,” Oikawa called out when he saw the blondie sitting by the window. “Tooru, how was your trip back home?” he asked, sipping on the latte he had ordered earlier. “Was fine, but that’s not the point of this meeting. Now, spill,” Oikawa frowned as he sat opposite Arata. 

“How did you get Iwa-chan’s number?”

“Who?”

“Iwa-chan? Iwaizumi? Iwazumi Hajime?” 

“I don’t know his number.”

“Look, if you aren’t going to be truthful, I’m leaving.”

“I’m serious!”

“The number you sent the photo of Kuroo and Sakura to!”

Oikawa was getting irritated at the flow of the conversation. He just wanted to know what happen and not trying to explain what happened to him. “Ah!” Arata put his right fist on to his left palm, “Kuroo-senpai gave it to me.” It made sense. After all, only Oikawa himself and Kuroo had Iwaizumi’s number. “And why?” Oikawa was so close to just grabbing Arata’s collar and yell at him to explain everything at once. “I wanted to tell you about it the next day but you left so quickly after the lecture ended, I couldn’t get a chance to,” Arata started. Oikawa knew this friend of his was an airhead, but still. 

“Say everything that you know. Don’t stop talking unless I say so,” Oikawa said after inhaling a deep breath to calm himself down. “So, I was heading home that day. I had a hearty dinner so I wanted to take a walk around the park, but I was so deep in my thoughts I got lost–” Arata continued with his story as Oikawa slammed the table, cutting Arata off. 

“Get to the point, I don’t have all day.” 

“Right, sorry. So, I met Kuroo-senpai coincidentally on the way to the park, and he was with this pretty girl. They were having a conversation on the street. I didn’t hear the full conversation but I did hear something along the line of moving on.”

“Moving on? Who said that?”

“Kuroo-senpai. He was saying something like, _‘If his heart isn’t yours, he will never be yours no matter how hard you try, so move on.’_” 

“Ara-chan, I never want to hear you mimicking Kuro-chan ever again, you don’t even sound like him.”

“Stop distracting my story.” 

Oikawa could feel himself rolling his eyes but didn’t make any remark at that.

“The thing was, I wanted to take a pic of them and show it to you because I thought Kuroo-senpai was dating that pretty lady without telling us. I wanted to catch them in action, you know? And then at that moment!” Arata paused to drink his latte as Oikawa let out a groan. How long is this going to take?

“I was sure Kuroo-senpai made eye contact with me before he kissed that lady. My finger just captured the scene without even realizing. It was like he was marking his property in front of my eyes. How manly.”

“And how did the message come about?”

“Kuroo-senpai approached me the next day in the morning before classes start. He gave me a number and asked me to send the picture to that. He told me that he told his girlfriend that I had taken a photo and that his girlfriend wanted to keep it for memory's sake since it was their first kiss or something. And so, I did. He told me not to leave any caption or whatsoever. You mean, that phone number wasn’t his girlfriend’s?” 

Oikawa rubbed his temples in annoyance. He has no clue what Kuroo is up to. However, Arata’s recount of this situation from his perspective did somewhat help. He just wasn’t sure how to connect the dots yet. “Thanks. I have to go,” Oikawa stood up. If Kuroo was indeed scheming something, why would he pick Arata as an accomplice, knowing that they were close friends? “Right, I’ll see you next week!” Arata grinned. It’s nice that Arata was indeed someone who don’t pry much. He really didn’t want to explain anything at the moment.

So, what exactly happened? 

_2 months ago,_

Kuroo was deciding what groceries he should get to cook that night. It was like any other normal weekend – working out, grocery shopping, hanging out with Oikawa, cooking dinner for Oikawa. “Steamboat it shall be,” Kuroo smiled at the idea of Oikawa eagerly ‘cooking’.

As he was checking out his order, his phone vibrated in his pocket. Fishing out his phone, he recognized the sender. After all, before Iwaizumi and Sakura headed back, the two of them had exchanged contact numbers. 

【I cannot do this anymore.】

After receiving a vague message like this, it was obvious Kuroo can’t just proceed as planned as if nothing happened. “Sorry,” he apologized to the cashier with his hands together, “I’ll come back later.” With that, Kuroo immediately left the supermarket, dialing Sakura’s number. “Sakura-san? I just saw your message. Are you okay? What’s wrong?” Kuroo spoke the moment the call connected. Sakura was crying on the other end, with some inaudible sound here and there. “I can’t hear you properly. Where are you? Miyagi? Where’s Iwaizumi?” concern could be heard clearly from Kuroo’s voice. That was him. It wasn’t like Sakura was getting any special treatment whatsoever. Kuroo was just that kind. 

“I’m… I’m at Tokyo’s train station. Hajime-kun isn’t with me. I’m alone now…” 

“Ah. We will talk when we meet. Don’t move. I’m going over right now.” 

When the pair finally met, Sakura had calm down tons compared to their conversation over the phone. They found seats at a park nearby as they settled down at the bench. “It’s always about him. Everyday. Whenever we meet, he’d be talking about his best friend. Even when I tried telling him about my problems, he’d say that Oikawa went through the same thing before, and then the whole story would be about Oikawa once more. I’ve had enough… I’m starting to think that Hajime-kun loves Oikawa more than me…”

Kuroo’s eyes widened a little at Sakura’s words. Oikawa was always talking about Iwaizumi to him, but that was because Oikawa was in love with Iwaizumi. Kuroo had always believed it was unrequited but if Iwaizumi was doing the same, then doesn’t that mean…? “W-Why are you telling me this though? Coming all the way to Tokyo at that…” Kuroo managed a response but he could feel his attention drifting to something else really soon. If its requited love, then, where does he stand? 

“Because it’s the same for you isn’t it?” 

“What?” Kuroo asked, unable to hide his astonishment. “You like Oikawa, and Oikawa likes Hajime-kun,” Sakura pointed out accurately as if it was announced beforehand. “How…?” 

“Gut feelings. Plus, I overheard the conversation you two shared in the ward when I left for the ladies. I didn’t know when was a good time to enter, so I was intending to wait for Oikawa to come back before entering together. When Oikawa returned after doing administration matters, we had a small talk outside and,” Sakura shifted uncomfortably, “I really wanted to tell him to leave Hajime-kun alone because he’s my boyfriend but I know they are just friends and I don’t want to change that because they seem happy together. I didn’t say anything but Oikawa just started gushing about how nice of a guy Hajime-kun was. He pointed out things that Hajime-kun had never shown me before. I didn’t even know Hajime-kun cooks. That’s when I realized…and yeah, I connected the dots thereafter.”

Kuroo seemed to feel more relaxed after knowing that Sakura was aware of his likings. It would have been tougher to hide. “So? Are you going to give up like this?” Kuroo asked, leaning back. “I thought about this long and hard. I really love Hajime-kun. I really enjoyed the times we spent together. But I know. Deep down in my heart, I know. He’s happier with _him_. I really love him, so I want him to be happy. If he’s happier with _him_, then…I want to help him,” Sakura spoke calmly while looking at her clasped hands that were on her lap. Kuroo blinked a few times at her words. 

He had never considered it that way before. When he knew that Oikawa had an unrequited love, he thought about persuading Oikawa to move on. Move on and by any chance, fall for him instead. He had never thought about wanting to help Oikawa to get together with Iwaizumi. “That’s stupid,” Kuroo mumbled as he burrowed his head into his open palms. “So, you are saying that you would back out from this relationship like a coward? After all the efforts you put in to make it work? What are you going to gain from it other than being hurt?” 

“His smile.” 

Kuroo looked up before his eyes widened. Sakura was smiling. Her eyes, however, were watery. “You have suffered enough, Kuroo. Holding onto it any longer would only make it harder to let go. It’s like a poison. Stop keeping it in your mouth. Spit it out before you are forced to swallow it,” Sakura said softly as she extended her hand, giving Kuroo’s back a gentle pat. 

It has been quite some time since Kuroo’s confession. From then on, there was no answer from Oikawa’s side. Their life went on like how they used to. Even though Kuroo wasn’t conscious of it, but every little detail was feeding the false hope that was instilled due to lack of outright rejection. Sure, he gave Oikawa time to think about it. However, was he really thinking about it? Did Kuroo even have a chance, to begin with? 

“Here,” Sakura’s voice cut off his train of thoughts. Kuroo’s gaze fell onto what Sakura was holding out. _‘Tissue?’ _Kuroo thought before he felt something wet on his cheeks, _‘I’m crying? Why?’_ Sakura was crying too. They knew how one another felt. They understood it perfectly. Kuroo extended his hand, cupping Sakura’s cheek before he went in for a kiss on her lips. It was a soft, gentle kiss. Sakura didn’t fight back either. The kiss was short and it had no romantic meaning behind it. They were pitying one another, as well as themselves. 

“Where are you staying right now?” Kuroo asked, pulling away from Sakura. “My parents had a house here so I’ll be staying there for now,” Sakura explained. 

“How long will you be staying here? Does Iwaizumi know?”

“I’ll be going back next week. I think I need some time to sort my feelings out. I told Hajime-kun that I was going to go on a trip with my friends, so…”

“Alright. For now, let’s send you home.” 

When they reached her apartment, which was surprisingly not far from the park, Kuroo told Sakura, “You’re right. If his heart isn’t yours, he’ll never be yours no matter how hard you try, so move on.” Their conversation was about to end there when Kuroo noticed Arata standing a few feet away from them, holding up his phone. “So, let’s…give up,” Kuroo whispered, leaning down to kiss Sakura once more. Kuroo watched Arata running off in the distance before he pulled away. “One week. One week is all I need to move on,” Kuroo patted Sakura’s head, “If Iwaizumi ask you anything, you can just push the blame onto me.” Sakura shook her head, “We are in this together.”

A week flew by rather quickly and Kuroo had to admit, it was easier said than done to just give up. Especially when they are meeting every day. The proximity they shared made it even tougher for him to walk out of this unrequited love. He had already told Arata to send the picture to Iwaizumi but that dude’s not only an airhead, but he’s also so forgetful, he didn’t send any pictures until later on. 

When Friday came, Kuroo just ended his lectures for the day and was ready to meet Sakura before she heads back to Miyagi. Kuroo had told Sakura about Arata beforehand but seeing how there was no reaction on Iwaizumi’s end, it just meant that the picture was not sent. On the way to the café, Kuroo noticed this figure tailing him. As he walked pass this random shop at the roadside, he saw Oikawa’s reflection from the glass of the store. _‘What’s with that fashion sense…’ _

It was as if Oikawa wasn’t even trying to hide the fact that he was following Kuroo. He wanted to straight-up expose that shitty disguise of his but then a thought flashed through his mind. Since Arata wasn’t triggering Iwaizumi, he could just trigger Oikawa instead. After all, all they needed was one party to fess up their feelings. 

With that in mind, Kuroo allowed Oikawa to stay in that illusion of being the best undercover. 

Once Kuroo settled down, he waited for Sakura to turn up. In the meantime, it was quite a challenging task for him to not glance at Oikawa. If he looked too much, Oikawa would realize it and then the plan would fail. However, his presence itself was eye-catching enough. Who would even wear sunglasses indoors? To distract himself, he took out his phone and started scrolling through his social media platforms idly till Sakura’s arrival. 

When Sakura entered, he kept his phone away and waited for Sakura to settle down. “Tooru’s here,” was the first thing Kuroo said but thankfully, Sakura wasn’t those type of friends who would be stupid enough to look about to make it obvious that they were talking about Oikawa. Sakura just nodded in return, “He followed you here? You think Hajime-kun told him about us?” 

Kuroo thought for a moment before shaking his head, “If Iwaizumi did, I don’t think Oikawa would be here. He would have flipped out on me days ago. It’s not like he would give me benefit of doubt if Iwaizumi told him anything anyway.” Sakura frowned, “You know, I’m pretty sure you are also important to Oikawa.” 

Kuroo shrugged, “Just like you to Iwaizumi, probably. Anyway, since Arata isn’t doing anything on his end, he might as well just push Oikawa instead. He sent himself to us anyway. We just have to tie up the ends. But, are you sure about this?” Sakura nodded, “I have already broken up with Iwaizumi.”

“Did he ask why?”

“Yeah. But I didn’t say anything, except that I don’t think the relationship is working out.”

“How did you…? You went back to Miyagi?”

“Over the text. But I told him that I promise I would talk it out with him once I get back. Enough about me, I have made my choice since some time ago. Are you sure _you_ will be okay?”

Kuroo extended his hand, holding Sakura’s before giving it a tiny squeeze, “It’s too late to back out now. Let’s go.” Once they left the café, they headed towards the first alley they found, knowing fully that Oikawa would be following them. Turning into the alley, Kuroo had initially decided to just walk into some random hotel with Sakura but the plan took for a turn when Sakura suddenly started crying. “Oi, what happened?” Kuroo asked as they stopped in their tracks. “No, I’m sorry. It’s just me,” Sakura quickly explained. Kuroo’s gaze softened as he cupped her cheek, wiping her tears off with his right thumb. _‘It’s too late,’_ Kuroo thought when he spotted Oikawa in the corner of his eyes. Cupping both cheeks, Kuroo leaned down, intending to stop before the kiss but an external force got the job done instead. 

He felt a strong push from the side as his back was forced against the wall. Watching Oikawa trying to find words in front of him, he felt his baseless hope increasing once more. Was Oikawa jealous of them together? It was at that time when Oikawa said, “She’s Iwa-chan’s girlfriend!” After that line, Kuroo felt like he was finally slapped back into reality. Finally forced to swallow the poison he was holding at the tip of his tongue all these while. _‘It’s still him, huh?’_

“You can’t possibly expect me to hold onto that love, forever right? Who would be that selfish to wish that I stayed in that unrequited love? Also, it’s been almost nine months since we started the volleyball practices. I’ve seen how you played during our club practices. You are fine right now. We no longer need those private training. And also, you don’t have to come to my house to eat anymore.” 

_‘Yes, you are doing well. Don’t back out now.’_

“Now, won’t you excuse us,” Kuroo said, brushing pass Oikawa, his hand pulling Sakura’s along. “Kuro-chan,” Oikawa turned around, “If you take another step, it’s really over for us. Everything.” 

Kuroo felt his legs freezing up on the spot. He couldn’t move. Why? Why now? After all those determinations he had stored up before. Was this really the best way? Kuroo’s grip on Sakura’s hand tightened. He didn’t want to back out after all. He very much wants to turn around right now, walk over, and hug Oikawa tightly, telling him to give up on Iwaizumi and choose him instead. Why must it be Iwaizumi the one who is giving Oikawa happiness? Why can’t he be the one instead? Where was Iwaizumi when Oikawa needed him the most? Where was Iwaizumi when Oikawa shed all those tears? Why did he not meet Oikawa earlier? Why was he born in Tokyo and not Miyagi? Why did he–

“Please stop,” Sakura finally spoke up, “Stop doing this to my boyfriend.” With that, Sakura tugged Kuroo along as Kuroo allowed it to happen. It was when they left together when Kuroo finally broke. His hold on Sakura didn’t loosen. Neither did Sakura pull away. They just walked in silence as Kuroo wiped away the stray tear that left his eye.

The next few days were torture for him. He wakes up every morning thinking about Oikawa. Was he doing fine? Is he eating well? What is he doing now? 

They still met up coincidentally in school at times, but it was unavoidable to meet during club activities. He wasn’t blatantly avoiding him during club activities but there just weren’t enough opportunities or topics to talk about so he couldn’t initiate any interactions. As expected, neither did Oikawa, even though Kuroo knew that he probably had a lot of things he wanted to ask. The usual training was just wrapping up when he felt a punch across his cheek coming from nowhere. It happened so quickly he couldn’t help but stagger a few steps. Before he could even recognize the source of the hit, he heard Oikawa’s voice in the distance, gradually getting louder as he ran towards the pair. _‘If it wasn’t for you…’_ Kuroo thought as he found himself saying something before he returned the punch.

“Iwa-chan, you’re bleeding.”

_‘I’m bleeding too.’_

“Move on,” Kuroo said. The final words directed to himself. He received a cold glare from Oikawa that he had never seen before. He could feel his heart tightening. 

Why him? Why _him_? Why not _me_? Look at me too. 

Did Kuroo even have a chance, to begin with?

Even though he knew that they won’t be eating together anymore, he kept messing up the portions of dinner he cooked. It was always two servings. Eventually, as the days passed, he just gave up on cooking. 

Oikawa was back in Miyagi. Iwaizumi is with him. Sakura has gone back too. 

He’s alone now. 

He couldn’t even explain how many times he felt the urge to pick up the phone and calling Oikawa, telling him that he was sorry. He just wanted to hear Oikawa’s voice. Regardless of what he had to say. He wanted. No. He needed some interactions with Oikawa. 

Three weeks have passed since they last met. _‘One more week until school starts. One more week until he comes back…’ _Kuroo thought to himself. Oikawa had told him previously that he was going back to Miyagi for the whole term break so they wouldn’t be able to meet up. Judging from the current situation however, it’s not like they would be meeting up even if it wasn’t for his trip home.

It was about 12am when he decided that he should get something to eat. He hasn’t been cooking for the past few weeks either. Every time he tries cooking, he’d imagine Oikawa sitting at his couch, waiting patiently but at the same time eagerly, wanting to know what they were having for that day. It wasn’t that obvious before but now that Oikawa was gone, he realized that almost every aspect of his life had Oikawa in it. He’d go to a cinema and remember the time when both of them went to watch a movie together. He’d go to the arcade and remember the time Oikawa was getting all frustrated because he couldn’t grab the alien soft toy from the claw machine. He’d enter the convenience store, remembering the time Oikawa couldn’t decide which pudding was better.

Checking out the premade bento he got from the convenience store, he was greeted by a sight he wasn’t expecting. 

“Kuro-chan.”

Kuroo could feel all his muscles failing to function as he looked at Oikawa. _‘Why is he here? Shouldn’t he only be back by next week?’_ His grip on his plastic bag tightened. Before Kuroo could do anything, Oikawa walked up to him, yanking his plastic bag away and looking at the content. “One serving? What about that girlfriend of yours who’s staying over at your house?” Oikawa questioned. It took a while for Kuroo to recall the fact that he lied about Sakura moving in. “It’s none of your business,” Kuroo said, his voice colder than he expected as he snatched the plastic bag back. Turning to leave, he felt his heart tightened again. He wasn’t prepared to see Oikawa at all. Not now. Not next week. If he could choose, then it’s never. Is Oikawa taken now? Did his confession go well? Is he happy now? 

“I’ve heard everything from Arata already.”

_‘Everything?’_

Kuroo knew that Arata didn’t know the whole story. But at the same time, he wasn’t sure how much Arata overheard that day. If he stayed from the beginning, he could have overheard their plan. If he really did, then he must have had told Oikawa everything like what Oikawa said. Whatever it is, Kuroo wouldn’t care. It doesn’t change anything anyway. 

“And Iwa-chan confessed.” 

Kuroo’s eyes widened as he fought back all impulses to turn around to face Oikawa. His face must be hella ugly right now. He waited for Oikawa’s continuation that never came. “And?” Kuroo said, prompting after a minute of awkward silence. “I rejected him,” Oikawa replied. That did the job as Kuroo’s head snapped towards Oikawa. 

“What?”

“I rejected him.”

“Why?”

Oikawa’s eyes were fixed on Kuroo and to be honest, Kuroo was feeling a little uncomfortable. The tension could be felt despite only having those few words exchanged. “Do you not like me anymore?” Oikawa asked. He might have avoided the question, or Kuroo didn’t manage to hear an answer amidst his loud racing heartbeat. “What? You realize that once your love is returned, you got sick of it and want Iwaizumi to have a taste of his own medicine?” Kuroo spat. Oikawa flinched before wincing slightly, “You didn’t have to put it that way…” 

“Are you those types of people who just want the whole world to love you but not doing anything in return? When I liked you, you didn’t give a damn and now when Iwaizumi likes you, you don’t wish to give a damn either? You heard from Arata? Heard what exactly? That I tried to matchmake both of you? You know, I always thought you were this kind, outgoing airhead. I wished my impression stayed that way. Now you are just a jerk who plays with others’ feelings as if they are nothing.” 

It was the first time Kuroo was being so mean to Oikawa. Sure, they had their arguments before, but he had always been careful with his words. It was different now. He was seriously angry. 

“Everyone is trying their best to make you happy. You wanted to come to Tokyo? He allowed you. You wanted to play volleyball again? I helped you. You wanted to pursue photography? I got you a better camera for your birthday. You needed someone to talk to? Arata’s always there for you. What are you doing right now?” Kuroo said as he clenched his shirt, where his heart was positioned, “Hearing you talk hurts me. Seeing you in front of me hurts me. Everything you are about to do is hurting me. Even if you didn’t regard my feelings before, please consider it right now. After all, we were friends. If you still see me as someone precious to you, even for a split second in your entire life, please. I’m begging you. Leave me alone.”

Oikawa looked as if he wanted to say something. He did. But words wouldn’t come out. Instead, his tears replaced his words. 

“Stop crying. You don’t deserve to cry. Sure, I admit, it was low of me to do that. I shouldn’t have gotten Sakura to cheat. I shouldn’t have come up with this shitty plan. I shouldn’t have…” Kuroo paused before looking away, “I shouldn’t have fallen for you in the first place.”

Kuroo shut his eyes tightly. Despite all those, Oikawa’s tears were still enough to maximize his desire to just hug Oikawa and told him that everything was alright. Kuroo suddenly felt his collars being pulled violently as his eyes opened. Oikawa was grabbing his collars, tears flowing freely from his eyes. “You, stupid, bastard!” Oikawa yelled. His voice resonating in the night. Kuroo blinked a few times. After all those, he’s the bastard? 

“Who gave you the right to decide my feelings? Who gave you the rights to match-make us? My happiness? Why did you think that I can’t be happy without Iwa-chan? Do you think I’m that weak? Do you think I can’t survive without him? Do you think Iwa-chan was my world? Right, I’m selfish. I’m selfish enough to live for myself. Iwa-chan’s my best friend. We have been friends ever since we were born, of course, he means a lot to me. Sure, I was in love with him. I was. What can I do now that my feelings have changed when he confessed? Why were you so sure that I would be in love with him forever? I was thinking so much. Thinking so much about what we have been through. Since the beginning. The answer was so simple. Why did the both of us have to go round and round? Why did you stop chasing me when I was ready to stop running? Why did things have to turn out this way? What…” Oikawa looked at Kuroo dead in his eyes. He was bawling like an ugly bastard. Kuroo’s brows furrowed. He could feel his throat tightening up. He was about to cry too. “What can I do? What can I do to make you fall in love with me again?” Oikawa trailed off before burrowing his head into Kuroo’s chest, shoulders shaking at every sob. 

“That’s where you are wrong. I never stopped loving you.”


	7. The Finale

The birds were already chirping outside, with the sun hanging up high. Oikawa’s eyes slowly fluttered open as his eyes landed on the male sleeping beside him. Kuroo was topless while Oikawa was in Kuroo’s shirt which was way too big for him. Kuroo was currently still sleeping, with his arm as Oikawa’s pillow. Oikawa couldn’t help but smile a little at the sight of a peaceful Kuroo. To think that this felt like the time when they still barely knew one another, except the difference is that, he knew for a fact that whatever he had misunderstood then was true this time around. 

_“That’s where you are wrong. I never stopped loving you.” Kuroo confessed as Oikawa just cried even harder at the confession, “Then don’t let me go, I can’t guarantee that I would have the courage to find you if you were to let me go.” Kuroo’s gaze softened before he pulled away from Oikawa. Unsightly but Oikawa’s snot was left behind on Kuroo’s shirt. Kuroo had experienced other foreign substances from Oikawa so he wasn’t exactly bothered. “It’s getting cold, let’s talk somewhere else,” Kuroo said in a low voice before he started walking. The convenience store was considerably closer to Kuroo’s house than Oikawa’s so Kuroo had naturally started walking in the direction of his apartment. The way back was silent. No one said anything. The only sound that could be heard distinctively was Oikawa’s occasional sobs. Oikawa couldn’t decipher what the silence truly meant but followed Kuroo either way. When they entered Kuroo’s apartment, Kuroo sat on his couch, “I don’t understand you anymore.” Oikawa was about to say something along the lines of ‘neither do I’ but Kuroo didn’t give him any chance to respond. “So, let’s try again. Together this time,” Kuroo said, looking up at Oikawa before continuing, “I’ll give myself one more chance to get to know you thoroughly. You will decide if I will have that chance or not. What do you say?”_

_Oikawa, who had his tears halted on the way back, allowed his tears to fall freely again. However, this time, the tears didn’t represent sadness. It was more of happiness and relief. Oikawa wanted to say something but his tears just wouldn’t stop flowing. His throat wouldn’t allow him to produce any sound as he rubbed his eyes continuously, wiping away those stray tears. It was then, Oikawa saw a sight that he had missed so very much. A sight that he would have risked everything to see it once more – Kuroo’s smile. “You’re one ugly bastard,” Kuroo muttered as he pulled Oikawa down into a kiss. From then on, the rest was history. _

Kuroo shifted when he felt movements on his arm as he opened his eyes slowly, only to see another pair of eyes looking back at him. “What? Never seen such a handsome man before?” Kuroo said sleepily but his usual teasing self could still be detected through his words. Oikawa was still trying to register the situation despite the night they had before. Just a while ago, they weren’t talking for weeks, and now, he’s the closest one to Kuroo. Kuroo turned his body around to check the time on his phone when Oikawa suddenly said, “I can’t believe you kissed Sakura.” Kuroo turned back towards Oikawa with a scowl, “What now?” “I said,” Oikawa sat up, “I can’t believe you kissed Iwa-chan’s girlfriend.”

Kuroo frowned, sitting up as well, “Are we starting a new argument now? Is that your new-found hobby?” Oikawa scowled, “What argument? I’m just stating a fact here.” 

“That’s a prompt to start fighting.”

“Am not.”

“What are you? A kid?”

“Who’s initiating a fight now?”

Kuroo rubbed his temples, what a way to start the morning. “Were her lips softer than mine?” Oikawa’s sudden question after a moment of silence threw Kuroo off as he looked at Oikawa, slightly confused, “I don’t know. I would have to check again.” The pair broke into a smile subconsciously as Oikawa watched Kuroo shifting closer to connect their lips. They then spent the remaining of the day not leaving Kuroo’s bed.

The next morning felt like a déjà vu with Oikawa waking up in Kuroo’s arms. “Morning,” Kuroo said softly before sitting up. “Mmm…” Oikawa hummed softly as he closed his eyes again, ready to allow himself to fall back into another round of deep slumber. “Let’s go on a date,” Kuroo said casually whilst getting off the bed. 

Silence.

“Did you just fall asleep when someone’s asking you out on a date?” Kuroo scowled as he poked Oikawa’s soft cheeks. “I heard you,” Oikawa mumbled a reply, pulling the blanket over his face. “So? Are we going or not?” Kuroo said, tugging the blanket off Oikawa, only to reveal Oikawa’s reddened face. 

“Are you shy? You’re making me feel embarrassed, stop.”

“No, I’m…” Oikawa looked away, “I’m just trying to register our relationship. It feels too good to be true. As if…as if I’m still dreaming. The past few days felt just like a dream, I need some time to be accustomed to this. First, we weren’t talking, and then, we made up. Then we became lovers, and we did all those couple things in bed. And now, we are going to go on a date…” Oikawa was rambling on and on as if there were no tomorrow. “At times like this, you should just say yes to a date and kiss me as a reward,” Kuroo smiled before patting Oikawa’s head. 

“Can we meet at 10 am?”

“Why?”

“I want to go home and change into something nice… It’s our first date after all… I want to look good.” Oikawa pouted slightly before sighing, “You are thinking that this is stupid, right?” Kuroo shook his head while chuckling, “No, I’ll see you at 10 am then.”

“Where at?” Oikawa got off the bed. “Disneyland?” Kuroo suggested as he watched Oikawa’s eyes shine, “I haven’t been there despite being in Tokyo for almost two years, let’s go!” Kuroo smiled. It sounded like a casual remark but Kuroo had put in lots of considerations into planning the date. After all, Oikawa has been here for some time, if there was a place that Oikawa had wanted to visit, he would already have. It was only after giving it many thoughts that Kuroo came to the conclusion that Oikawa wouldn’t have enjoyed going to an amusement park alone, especially when everyone else is usually there with their friends or lovers. 

It was about 10.30 am and Oikawa was still not to be seen at the entrance of Disneyland. ‘Did he get lost or something…’ Kuroo thought. Currently, Kuroo was in a black casual blazer, with a white turtleneck on the inside, finishing his overall outfit with black skinny jeans. He was leaning against a tree with his phone in his hand. He had called Oikawa once at 10.10 am but there wasn’t any response. “Sorry,” a familiar voice could be heard as Kuroo looked up. Oikawa was in a brown coat with a black turtleneck, followed by a black bottom. “I couldn’t find something nice to wear, I didn’t pack much winter attire,” Oikawa explained, “And I didn’t want to leave in just an ugly blue down feather jacket.” Kuroo sighed, he really couldn’t blame Oikawa after seeing the effort he was putting in for the outfit, “Let’s go.” Once they were inside, they went on several rides, took photos with mascots, bought some souvenirs, had lunch in a Mickey Mouse themed restaurant. Currently, they were standing outside a haunted house, the pair both having Mickey Mouse headbands on. “I don’t want to go in,” Kuroo said simply. “Are you scared?” Oikawa asked in a teasing manner. “I’m not, but at the rate that you are trembling before we even enter, it makes me worried that you’d just faint at the first jump scare,” Kuroo scowled. Oikawa was scared, but at the same time, he was curious about how the haunted house would be like. Was it going to be the same as those he experienced during his school carnivals back in Miyagi? “I won’t faint,” Oikawa said, oddly determined. “If you say so,” Kuroo sighed, “Plus, you would be with me, right?” Oikawa beamed. 

The moment they entered the eerie environment, Oikawa gripped onto Kuroo’s hand tightly, flinching at every small little thing that wasn’t meant to be scary in the first place. When the first _ghost_ jumped out with a scream, Oikawa yelled, instinctively hiding behind Kuroo. Kuroo had thought that this would be torture with all the constant screams everywhere, but seeing Oikawa’s reaction, Kuroo couldn’t help but thought that it was cute and that this was fun. It wasn’t his first time being at Disneyland. He came here a few times with his previous partners. However, he always felt that haunted houses were boring since he wasn’t the type who would be scared easily. This time, he was enjoying the experience, with Oikawa’s constant screams, occasionally letting a few curse words slip out subconsciously. When they finally made it out of the attraction, Oikawa was panting, his palm on his chest. “You okay-” Kuroo was about to say when Oikawa grinned, “That was hella awesome!” Kuroo couldn’t help but burst into laughter at Oikawa’s reaction. He was always so unpredictable. ‘I’m defeated,’ Kuroo laughed. Their hands remained connected until someone called out Kuroo by his first name. Kuroo turned around, “Misaki?” When the female loomed into Oikawa’s view, Oikawa dropped Kuroo’s hand quickly. “Here alone?” Kuroo asked as Misaki shook her head, “My friends are in the haunted house, and you know how bad I am with those. Are you here on a date?” Kuroo turned towards Oikawa, “Let me introduce you to one another. This is Misaki, my ex-girlfriend. And this is Oikawa, my current–” Oikawa cut off Kuroo quickly, “Ah, we are school mates. I begged him to show me how a date feels like because I have never been on one, and I have been wanting to ask someone out.” Kuroo blinked a few times at that blatant lie coming out of Oikawa’s mouth. Misaki didn’t seem to hear how Kuroo introduced Oikawa earlier on as she smiled, “Nice to meet you, Oikawa-kun. Do you two want to join us for the day? There are four of us.” Kuroo noticed Oikawa ready to agree to that offer when Kuroo interlocked their hands together, “Sorry, we are on a date.” Oikawa’s head snapped towards Kuroo before quickly trying to cover up by saying that it was a practice date, but Kuroo wasn’t going to allow Oikawa to lie the second time. 

“I’m dating him right now, he’s my boyfriend.” 

“What are you saying!” Oikawa gave a silent hiss as Kuroo didn’t look at Oikawa. “You two are cute together,” Misaki gave a soft smile, “Even if you didn’t announce your relationship, the way you look at him already betrayed you.” Kuroo blinked. Was this also how Sakura found out? How did he look at Oikawa? Kuroo sure hopes it wasn’t a look of lust or whatsoever. “Well, my friends are out, enjoy yourself!” Misaki smiled before waving and running off to join her group of friends. 

“What was that for?” Kuroo’s eyes narrowed towards Oikawa. “What was _that_ for?” Oikawa threw back the exact question. “Aren’t we going out? Practice date?” Kuroo looked away. Oikawa was happy that Kuroo would be so open about their relationship but he couldn’t help but worry. Oikawa was okay as he always dreamt of going on a date openly with his lover, which was going to be a male. But for Kuroo, he was dating females before Oikawa. He probably had fantasized about things such as getting married and having children which Oikawa would not be able to do. “Kuro-chan, can we really…” Oikawa trailed off, not sure where he was going with this conversation. They were having fun and suddenly the atmosphere changed, and he hated that. Why can they never fully enjoy something without getting into some sort of discord? 

Kuroo sighed for the umpteenth time as he squeezed Oikawa’s hand, “There’s nothing wrong about our relationship. Stop overthinking everything and just enjoy our times together. You were looking forward to our first date, right? Don’t discount it for something like ‘practice date’. This is special. This is significant. And, I’m your boyfriend. Nothing’s going to change that even if others were to cast us judgemental eyes. Plus, everyone’s out here to enjoy their time, so are we.” Oikawa gave a small smile. Kuroo somewhat always knew what to say. With that in mind, they enjoyed the remaining of their date, ending with a ride on the Ferris wheel. Kuroo had his attention fixed on the night scenery while Oikawa had his on Kuroo. 

“I love you.”

Kuroo tore his gaze off the transparent walls of the cart as he looked at Oikawa. Oikawa’s confession was soft but in the small space they were in, it was delivered clearly. Oikawa’s ears were red but he kept their eye contact, refusing to look away despite the embarrassment he felt. He wasn’t sure why he said it either. He simply blurted out because the timing seemed right. 

“What? I didn’t hear you,” Kuroo laughed before extending his hand, pulling Oikawa over to his side. The cabin shook a little at the sudden movement but soon stabilized itself. “Say it again,” Kuroo urged. Oikawa knew that Kuroo was teasing him, but said it once more anyway. “I love you,” Oikawa repeated, slightly louder this time. Kuroo leaned closer, their eyes still locked with one another, “Again.” 

“I love you.”

“Again,” Kuroo said, his voice softer and lower this time.

“I love you.”

Kuroo kissed Oikawa with a smile before pulling away, “I love you too, Tooru." 

_Several years later…_

Oikawa was currently standing on the national court, with his teammates, in his jersey that represented Japan. He was laughing, and having fun. Cheering when he managed to get a point with his demonic serve that ended the game. “Didyou see what I did there?”was what he said to an approaching figure. The person walking towards Oikawa and complimenting his serve was someone who resembled an ugly black cat. 

“Don’t get too happy, if it weren’t for my block previously, you wouldn’t have had a chance to serve,” the black cat said but was already ruffling Oikawa’s hair proudly. The stadium was filled with cheering at how Japan has gotten the championship at the Olympics. However, despite the loudness, all Oikawa could hear was the other’s heartbeat and voice. Oikawa smiled before throwing his sweaty self into the other’s arms, which was equally sweaty. To think that this felt like a nightmare then. It was, in reality, the best and all he could ask for. 

Representing Japan. With Kuroo on his side. 

“Good job,” Kuroo smiled as their lips connected in front of everyone. In front of the crowd. In front of their teammates. In front of national television. 

“Can we have an interview with the two Kuroos?”

**Author's Note:**

> Hello all, do let me know if there are any grammatical errors or any other errors spotted. Other than that, I hope you enjoyed this chapter! New chapters come out weekly (or at least I try to). Leave kudos if you enjoyed it so that I know that I am on the right track! Feel free to leave a comment too!


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